Heaven's So Far Away - A Sam Winchester X Female Reader Fic

Chapter 3

Y/N's POV

My alarm started blaring right at 8:00 AM on the dot, and as I rolled over to silence it, I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for whatever the day had in store for me.

I was living out my dream as one of the head psychiatrists at a psychiatric facility, following years of grueling school work, and I was doing what I loved to do...helping those in need.

Psych wards always get a bad reputation, and in truth, I can understand why. Not every day was easy...each day was entirely different, and you never knew what you could be faced with.

But even when faced with the most gut-wrenching illnesses of the mind, all it really takes is empathy. Showing compassion, patience and understanding was enough to brighten the day of any patient, no matter how detrimental their ailment was.

That's the attitude I always kept. Keep on smiling, keep on brightening the world around you, and keep bringing happiness to everyone you come across.

Because even if you can't be happy yourself....even if you can't overcome your own mental battles...the least you can do is make sure the people around you don't feel that way.

And that was my mantra that I repeated to myself....every single day...and somehow, that's been enough to help me survive this long.

As I said, I was living the dream....rewarding job, good friends, fat paychecks, three bedroom house all to myself...

But note...how I never said I was happy.

Someone from the outside looking in could easily say I had everything I wanted. They could say all my hard work paid off, and now I'd be set for life...living easy.

But the truth was...I didn't have everything I wanted.

It took me several years to accept that fact and grieve over it...but I never would have it.

What I really wanted, left me stranded in an empty apartment over seven years ago, shattered into a billion tiny pieces...

Samuel Winchester.

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The night Sam left....he took my entire heart with him.

As soon as that door closed behind him...even after I warned him about walking through it...I collapsed.

I crumbled to my knees and I clutched my arms tightly around myself, because I was afraid if I didn't physically hold myself together, I would fall apart at the seams and just lay in pieces all over the cold, unforgiving floor.

I sobbed so hard I was damn near screaming...the pain of my broken heart just radiating throughout all my nerve endings, as if it had just been surgically removed from my chest without the use of anesthesia, so I was wide awake for the entire procedure.

It would be different if things were touch and go for a while...if Sam and I weren't compatible and we knew that what we had would be doomed to fall apart in the long run.

But that wasn't the case...it was so far from it.

The moment my gaze met his after our head-on collision in the library...it was like an explosion. Like a firework...just a glorious display of vibrant, colorful sparks flying all around us.

He was...without a doubt...the most handsome man I'd ever seen.

His face was youthful, yet so strongly defined...and in the center of his chin, he had the cutest little indent. His smile was so infectious, and when he was genuinely laughing and showcasing all of his blindingly-white teeth, the sweetest dimples would appear on the sides of his face.