❤Clean Shaven, Dirty Minds❤

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It was the end of the school day, Mr. Clean turned his car keys in the ignition, his stern orbs rising to the school entrance as the engine became silent. He turns to open the car door, removing himself from the vehicle and taking the keys with him, locking the car after shutting the door.

Mr. Clean really didn't have time for this, but reminded himself that this was for his son, Caillou, and if he didn't talk to this Balbimore character then who would? He continued his stride towards the school, pushing past the doors and heading to the principals office, as he had called the school beforehand.

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the worst before knocking on the door. "Who is it?" Asked a monotone voice that Mr. Clean recognized as the as the principal's, "Mr. Clean, Sir." He replied, attempting to keep his voice equally monotone. "Right on time, come in and please have a seat then."

He brought his large hand to the door like he had many times before, due to Caillou not only being a stupid little fart head, but a stupid little fart head that won't stop causing pointless drama. Mr. Clean carefully swung the door open, he saw the principal, whose void-like eye sockets met his briefly.

But then Mr. Clean saw him.

He had to be the most attractive man in the world, his shiny bald head with a single strand of hair still present, his obsidian orbs that felt as if they were asking Mr. Clean to come closer, and his pouty red lips, good God those beautiful, beautiful lips.

"Is everything alright?" Okay his voice was kinda ugly but everything else about him was cute as hell. "I uh- yeah, apologies." Mr. Clean choked out, taking a seat in the empty chair, he could feel Balbimore's gaze briefly glance at his biceps. "So what did you want to discuss with me and Mr. Balbimore, Sir?" He had almost forgotten why he was there in the first place, oopise dasiy!

"Well... Caillou hasn't been getting the best grades in math, and-" before he could even finish talking, the phone on the desk blasted the default i phone 7 ring tone, making the principal sigh. "I'm sorry, but I have to take this call, I'll be back shortly." The principal dead-panned once he saw the number displayed on the screen.

The man stood up, taking his phone with him as he left the office, shutting the door behind him. Leaving Mr. Clean and Balbimore all alone in the quiet little room with nothing to do, or so it seemed at the current moment. "So you must be that Mr. Balbimore I hear so much about, huh?" He smirked, raising a brow.

The man next to the cleaning sponge mascot giggled, totally charmed. "That's me! But you can just call me Baldi if you'd like.." He twirled his single strand of hair around his finger playfully, they both really liked where this was going so far.

"Well nice to meet you Baldi, I'm Mr. Clean." He smiled at Baldi, knowingly. Baldi smiles back with the same knowingness as Mr. Clean does himself. "Do you wanna make out sloppy style?" Baldi asked. "Absolutely, Sexy Bald Math Teacher." So now they're making out, tongues batting for dominance as Mr. Clean pushed Baldi onto the desk.

Baldi's wrists were pinned by Mr. Clean's powerful hands, his insides jumping around like a fish dying a agonizing and slow death on land. The two were lost in each other, it didn't feel real, like nothing else in the world existed except for them. The lovers were so caught up in the other that they failed to hear the principal finish his phone call, or open the door to his office.

"Sorry that took so lon- WHAT THE FUCK!!" The principal's voice boomed, horrified at the shenanigans happening upon his desk. Mr. Clean stopped making out with Baldi to whip his head around. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, WE WERE JUST-" The principal's cut him off before he could finish. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF MY OFFICE THIS INSTANT!!"

That was all it took for the pair to start scrambling to leave, faces red with shame as they scurried not just out of the room but the whole school, jumping through Mr. Clean's car window instead of opening the door. "BUCKLE UP, WE'RE DOING A HIT AND RUN!" Mr Clean shouted, hitting the gas pedal at full force.

The two then ran over the principals car 69 times before driving out of the parking lot at full speed, off into the sunset without a care in the world because Mr. Clean forgot Caillou, and now the child would never see his father again, but Caillou deserves it so it's completely okay.

The end

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 17 ⏰

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