Contrition

XIV

Rain froze in Phayu's grip and then turned around to look at the alpha in shock, "What do you mean, Phee…" 

Phayu realised what he said too and slowly let go of Rain, another loud thunder flashed and Phayu quickly grabbed Rain's hand again. Rain's heart broke when he saw his alpha looking all afraid yet frustrated 

"Phee.. What do you mean by again? Did something happen before?" Rain asked carefully, he didn't wish to raise his hopes and then end up disappointed. 

Phayu sighs before he pulls Rain upstairs. Rain quietly followed the alpha while he recalled his accident, he was shaken up when he remembered it. 

Once inside the bedroom, Phayu sat on the bed and remained quiet. Rain patiently waits for the older man. Rain was both hopeful yet scared by thought that maybe Phayu time travelled too. 

The silence was making Rain tremble, he kneels in front of Phayu and decides to take the risk. He avoided looking into Phayu's eyes and slowly grabbed the older man’s hands into his own, “You know Phee, the night I was drunk dead and you picked me up? I had a dream. A nightmare actually, I dreamed that I caused you so much pain. To you, to P’Phai….. to.. to our child…”

Rain heard Phayu’s breath hitched, he could see Phayu’s hand trembling and he held him tighter, “I realised how selfish I am and how If I don't change myself, I might end up losing everything. You, our family, our future… I don’t want it, Phee…”

There was suffocating silence, Phayu sighs and Rain kept holding his hand tightly in fear that Phayu might leave him. Few minutes passed and Phayu spoke in a cold voice, “And yet you remained the same…”

“Huh?!” Rain looks at Phayu in confusion who was staring at him with a dull expression. Phayu closes his eyes before opening again and looking towards Rain, “You’re still the same Rain, you think you can have anything forcefully. You are still selfish and self-centred… What if I had the same dream…. What if I don’t want to have anything to do with you after that dream..”

“No! Phee! Please!” Rain panicked and looked at Phayu in fear while Phayu was still calm, Phayu gently caressed Rain’s hand and continued, “Let’s switch places, What if you were in my place and I was in yours? You without even a second thought decided to marry me but I instead of accepting it, hate and blame you all my life? What if I decided not to cooperate and blame and hate your Brother PraPai too, though he got nothing to do with it…”

Rain turned pale as he recalled times when he was rude to Saifah and even mocked the older omega for still being single and living with his brother. Rain felt ashamed as he remembered how Saifah always smiled and never took his words to heart. If Rain was in Saifah’s place, he might have ended up hating himself.

“You did everything for me and in return you just wanted to save our marriage yet I without care, recklessly lost our child? Will you still have faith in our relationship?” Phayu asked coldly.

“It was an accident! I didn’t want that to happen!” Rain shouted in anger as he stood up while letting go of Phayu’s hand.

“Really, Rain? Didn’t you plan to abort the child, had that accident not taken place?” Phayu asked in harsh voice which made Rain stunned, he looks at Phayu with wide eyes before clutching his stomach in despair 

“I loved you with all my heart and soul but in return, all I got was hatred and sadness…” Phayu whispered sadly while Rain trembled, Rain cried quietly as he looked at the alpha with regret.

“…. We can have a baby again, I promise to be careful…” “Child isn’t the issue, Rain!!” Phayu interrupted Rain and shouted in frustration, Rain was startled and took a step back in fear.