davesport oneshots! <3

you didn't see this.

I walked into Fazbender's, and I immediately get hit with the usual stench, and the sound of shrieking toddlers. The blinding florescent lights fill my eyes, and I get greeted by my boss, Scott. I'm hungover, and I resist the urge to dent his phone head in.

"Employee! Welcome back! Go get your suit on, and perform like usual. I expect you to be on your best behavior as always!" 

I roll my eyes, and I don't even bother to respond. I don't care about this job, and I don't think Scott cares about me either. I look over, and I see a shaded figure in the distance, beckoning me to go to the saferoom. It was the purple man, Dave. Me and him were on pretty friendly terms, and we had just killed kids together yesterday. I wonder what he wants from me now?

I head over to the saferoom, to meet up with Dave. I open the door, and the saferoom is a lot darker than usual. I suddenly feel myself get grabbed, and pulled inside. The door slams behind me, and before I can react, I'm instantly pinned to a wall. What the hell?

I look at the person that pinned me, and it's Dave.

"Dave, what the hell are you--"

I get interrupted by Dave putting his finger to my lips.

"Shh...quiet, Sportsy. See, I've been getting a bit...worked up lately, and every time I go to do my deed, I keep thinking about ya'. I don't know what it is about you that I like so much, but something's drawin' me in. Now, I've had enough of those little 'fantasies' of mine, and I want the real thing. You hear me?" Dave says, staring me dead in the eyes.

"Wait a second, what?! Are you proposing we have sex? Man, we're at work!" I say. Honestly, I'm not too disturbed by the idea, it could potentially lead to a good time. But, the fact that Dave was masturbating while thinking of me was a little odd, to say the least.

"Yes, that's what I'm proposin'. We're in the saferoom, it's sound proof, and nobody's gonna come in here. Now, are you in or not?" Dave raises an eyebrow.

"What's in it for me?" 

"....Look, Old sport, just...please. I'm so fuckin' desperate to have you. Seriously, I've been having these fantasies every damn night. I need you, Sportsy. I ain't got nothin' to bribe you with, besides the fact that it'll feel good for you as well. Please?"

I sigh, looking away for a moment, then looking back at Dave.

"Fine, you can have your way with me. But I swear to god, Dave, if we get caught, I'm gonna be pissed."

At the sound of this, Dave's hungry eyes light up with excitement, and he leans down to whisper in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Thanks, Old sport. You wont regret this..." 

I roll my eyes, and Dave suddenly starts kissing my neck. Damn, he wasn't kidding about being desperate, that fucker's getting right into it!

i am not continuing this. do with this what you will. this was mainly a joke lmao