Bittersweet | ✔️

Fifty-One

"So was it good?" Dusk asks with a grin.

I remain emotionless. I'm not going to give him any more fodder than I have to, that I've already given him. "Yes, actually, it was very good. It's always good when there's a romantic connection."

"Whatever floats your boat, baby."

"I can't believe you don't even bother to be romantic."

"Yes, you can totally believe it. You know me that well at least."

"That's true. I just think every time should be as special as the first time."

"The first time's overrated. It's always awkward and girls never really come, and guys always do way too quickly. What's so special about that?"

"I bet you don't even remember when you lost your first time."

Dusk paused to think. "Hell, not really. It was centuries ago, and it wasn't even that important in the scheme of things. She wasn't even so important to me or I'd be able to recall her name, wouldn't I? " He sticks his cigarette in the ashtray although he didn't even smoke half of it. "But I do remember your first time quite well."

I freeze. "Stop," I say in a flimsy voice.

"You were so innocent, then," Dusk continues. "But you wanted to rebel against your parents so badly. I was the perfect guy for rebellious girls. I always have been. I couldn't pass up an opportunity like that. I broke into your house one night, and I fucked you with your parents just down the hall. When I held you in my arms, you were so fragile at first that I had to be careful not to break you."

I haven't thought about it in a long time. The memories just make this night feel worse than it already did. Things were so different, back then. I try not to think about it if at all possible. It was a different life. It was a different person. It disgusts me now, though I was so blinded by what I thought was love I couldn't tell the difference.

Dusk rests his hands on my shoulders, but I pull away. No, I won't let him touch me. He's just trying to seduce me, but I won't let him now that I have a resurgence of hate towards him. "I told you to never bring that up again. I don't want to remember it."

"Just because I don't mention it doesn't make it not true anymore. And I honored your wish, didn't I? I've kept the past a secret. And over time, who knew about it? None of the others knew we had a history together, that it was even me who sired you. You can deny it all you want, but it still happened."

I can't even look at him. "You sold me some lies and I fell for them; I'll admit it. I was young and very stupid. How many virginities have you taken over the years?"

"More than you'd want to know," Dusk shoots back. I'll bet. "But that doesn't mean you were meaningless."

I raise an eyebrow. "Who are you kidding?"

"You're always so bitter...you weren't before, you know...I always wondered if I made you that way," Dusk replies. His tone sends a chill down my back. It sounds almost caring, but that can't be it. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this. "You know, sometimes when I'm lonely I think about when you loved me."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "When have you ever been lonely?"

"I'm lonely even when I'm with people too," Dusk defends. He crosses his arms. I can't tell if he's kidding or not anymore. He's never serious. I don't know if it's even possible for him to be serious. "I don't even realize it all the time, but I miss you."

"Stop. You're really scaring me."

"I'm not trying to. I really wasn't messing with your mind with promises all those years ago. I did have every intention of keeping them, though I don't think you could believe that."