Soulmates who weren't meant to be

Part 26 : To all those unfinished goodbyes

Why would you
Ever think I'm hurting
Because you've never
Looked at me
The way I've looked
At you

I know I don't
Mean anything
Or to be exact
Meant anything ever
In anybody's life

Just cause I
Carry it all
so effortlessly
Doesn't mean that
It doesn't break me
Apart

There are bruises
All over me
But they're just battle scars
Because I cared to fight
But for what
May I ask ?
Just to have myself
Fighting insecurities
That has been created
Over the years

That too from the ones
I've loved the most
At the end of the day
I know when you love someone
And keep them close to your heart
You give them the power
To hurt you as much as
They want

How would you
Ever know
How it feels to be
Sidelined
To feel like
I was never
good enough

To always look
In the mirror and
Ask myself
Where do I lack ?
Cause you might tell
' You mean a lot'
I've heard these
Verses over and over

But then I'm just
That friend
Who you'd replace
When your done with
What you need
But I'd still provide
And for what it may be
To feel that I'm not
As utterly useless
As I feel

But I'm very good
At this game
I could go on and say
I'm always okay
And walk around
Like nothing matters
Show everyone
That I'm self sufficient
And that I've never needed
Anyone's help
Nor presence in my life

But at the
End of the day
Don't I deserve
To feel as if
I'm worthy of love ?
To be needed as much
As I needed your presence
To ask some time off
Your precious day
Feel like too much to ask for

Cause at a point
I'm so sure
I was there for you
You probably don't
think that way
As you've never even 
acknowledge my presence
Cause I was non existent
In your eyes

But then I've always
Learnt to let go
The more you hold on to
Someone trying to fly away
From you
The more you end up
Hurting yourself
I'd rather pick myself and leave
If you don't want me
Than stand here on my knees
Begging for you
and killing myself
Just so you could stay

I never meant
Anything I know
That's why you'd
Choose to leave me
I still remember
When I had the
Last hug and how
Cold it was
I hugged you so tight
Cause for me
You were the dearest
But I was nothing
Yes nothing
To you