House of Lincoln

12

"Lincoln? Are you okay? You're out! Why are you crying?"

...

I walked past Clyde and Rusty without looking at either of them. I was not in the mood. I marched right down to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine. Rusty attempted to reel me in as well. "Lincoln, buddy? You alright?" I placed a mug under and a stream of hot black coffee started spitting down with a buzz. They were both still staring at me so I got frustrated and talked. "I can't do it anymore. I'm going to run away." I knew that what I was saying made no logical sense, but since when was I the logical one? "Why?" Clyde asked. "Because I'm reaching the breaking point, Clyde. I can't do it. I am going to run out of town and I'm going to keep running until I'm in a neighborhood far away. I refuse to be near this house any longer. I am not going to live here anymore. I can't do it." The coffee machine stopped and the mug was now full. I raised it to my mouth and took light sips. "Lincoln," Rusty started, "if you want, you can stay at my house for a while. I don't really have anyone to talk to so... it would be nice to have some company. You can stay for as long as you want. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind." I started drinking faster. Too fast for my mouth to allow the coffee to cool in my saliva. It started to burn my throat, but I didn't notice that.

"Thanks, Rusty, but no. I need to get away. Miles away. States away, maybe. You guys can come with me, but if this curse follows me, I'd hate to burden you longer." Clyde put his hand on my shoulder. "There is no curse, Lincoln. It's just this house. It's weird, but it can't follow you anywhere. It's not like this house has a pair of legs it can use to get around. You'll be fine." I placed the mug of coffee down (a bit harder than I meant to, which made a loud "bang" on the counter). "Clyde, you don't get it. Nobody gets it. From the first day I told you about this whole thing, you were absolutely no help. You have not helped me at all. You can't do a thing for me, so I think you should leave." Rusty stepped between us. "Hey, come on Lincoln. He's just trying to help." Now I could feel it. My head was getting tenser. Images ran through my imagination. The house—thousands and thousands of windows. So many ways to escape. I need to get out. So many windows. Windows everywhere. It's almost impossible. Windows... so many windows. "Rusty, you can leave too. You haven't taken this seriously for a second. You're a damn curse, Rusty. That's what you are. You're almost as painful as this house." My head—so much pain... glass shards in my brain. Windows. Broken windows. Escape. I slam a hand on my head, trying to subdue the pain. The other hand—both hands on my head trying to scrape away at the discomfort and tension. I want it out—I want the glass shards out!

"I think we should call an ambulance. Rusty, go get the home phone." Rusty starts off but I scream out to stop him. "DON'T DO IT RUSTY! DON'T YOU DARE! I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!" I scream out in pain. The glass shards in my brain dig deeper like they're searching for a root in the center to pull. My brain's folds allow the shards to wedge inside. The glass shaves away at the inside of my head. Blood is leaking out of my ears; I can feel it. "BANDAGE! Get bandages for my ear, Rusty!" The blood is pooling on the floor. It's coming out of my ears like waterfalls. "What do you need a bandage for?" Rusty asks. Is he an idiot? Does he not see the whole house is filling with blood? Damn it! Damn it all! "BANDAGE. NOW!" He listens to me after my persistent shouts, and Clyde looks almost more scared than concerned now. "What's wrong with you?" he asks. It's like he is seeing me as a monster. For the very first time, he is seeing me for what I am. I am possessed. He hates me, I know it. They all hate me. I want them out. I WANT THEM OUT.

"GET OUT!" I wave my hands violently above my head. My arm hits the coffee mug. It's falling... The house of a thousand windows. So many ways to escape. I'm so close to the outside. I run up to one of the millions of beautiful windows, and I leap. I jump right through the window.

And the mug reaches the ground.
And it smashes.
And the window smashes as my body goes through it.
But I'm not outside.
I'm right in front of Clyde, and he's cleaning up the broken shards of the mug now on the ground.

Rusty is back with bandages, and he walks towards me to hand me them, but Clyde sticks out his hand to stop him. "Okay, Lincoln. We'll go. Me and Rusty will never bother you again. But don't ever come back and beg us to help you. We're gone. Goodbye, Lincoln." Rusty looked sad, but he silently agreed with Clyde. They both walked past me, outside and down the road to get picked up by a parent, I'm guessing. So, I guess that's it.

That's just it, right? I'm alone? I've always felt alone but... this is really it. I have nobody. I let everybody down.

I made Clyde upset.
I made Rusty sad.
I allowed Stella to disappear.

Anyone who comes to trust me...

I betray.

I break.

I lose.

A l o n e ?

A l l a l o n e ?