Treacherous (Taylor x Fem OC)

1

May 2, 2016

7:48 pm

A murder of crows would be my first guess if I had my eyes closed, but I'd still be able to see those brazen lights even behind my eyelids.

There are too many cameras to count, more than I have seen in the few months I have been gone shooting. A year of back-to-back filming schedules for various movies and television cameos kept me busy. Normally, I would never agree to such a rigorous year, no air to breathe, no wiggle room, but there was no choice in the matter.

I needed it.

Thankfully, it all paid off more than I ever expected it to. I won my first Oscar. Room was an especially difficult project for me; I have never done such research for a role before but once I received the script, I fell in love with the character and her healing journey. Seems as though the world followed suit.

Now I'm standing on the carpet of the Met Gala, my first one ever at that, and it seems as though my career has completely blown up in the last two years. I've been acting for years, of course starting back in secondary school into University. Mostly short films, stage plays, some musicals here and there, and the Hollywood roles started coming soon after.

Zipping back up to my current situation, I follow the guides to the next photo stop on the carpet and flash my best smile. I can feel the dots of sweat beading up to the surface of my palms as the blinding lights and brain rattling shutter sounds break through.

It could be for a whole other reason. Maybe they just really like my outfit, that is what the Met Gala is about after all, isn't it?

The gown itself is made of silicone and silk, a mixture of white, silver, and an ombre into black on the train. Accompanied with the whole outfit are intricate silver and diamond-encrusted earrings that dangle down and a metallic chrome facemask covering my nose down.

And to top it all off, which is the factor I am ninety nine point three percent positive is the cause for the overbearing photographs and blabbering mouths shouting questions they know I will not answer until I am guided to the interview portion of the crowd: my hair.

Buzzed.

A complete buzzcut to complete the look and match the theme of this year: Manus X Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology.

My publicist and I agreed it'd work, I was the one who brought up the idea considering I've been dying my hair for my bountiful amount of roles over the years and could hear my roots begging to be freed from their endless suffocation and torment.

A fresh start.

But the second my driver got me to the front of the line, reality sank in and fear pressed down on my limbs.

It's a ballsy move, shaving your head. Especially when you live a life of no privacy and constant judgment.

All eyes are on me and have been since my breakout film. At first, Christi (my publicist) was skeptical, but she came to the conclusion that it'd be good for me, and would show that I'm not afraid of taking risks, that I can bend different ways and try new things.

It'd attract more opportunities for me.

Though now, I couldn't care less about that. All I can think about is how this outfit is nearly squeezing the life out of me, slowly crushing my ribcage in a malicious attempt to reach my lungs and burst them on impact. Then again, that might be on account of my stress.

Being away from paparazzi and big crowds these past few months has been nice. The only exception to that was the Academy Awards, but hey, I won my first Oscar and got to finally prove certain people wrong about me and my choice to pursue my dreams.