Come Down in Time

Chapter 6. Carousel

She remembered the distant sounds of laughter and music, and her delight at being outdoors on a breezy summer evening. She was in that place in her memories, clutching her mother's hand and gazing in childlike wonder at the sights and sounds...

*****

Faye was five years old and it was her first time at Luna Park. She was excited and fearful at the same time, overwhelmed by the masses of people and the cacophony of sounds echoing around her. Sensing her apprehension, her mother squeezed her hand reassuringly, and the fluttering sensation in her belly eased. Hand in hand with her mother, Faye gazed around in delight at the flashing and sparkling lights and pungent aromas of the food stands. Her mother pointed out this and that and they giggled together like two silly schoolgirls.

"And here is the famous Grand Carousel," her mother explained as they stopped at the merry-go-round. "Not many people are fortunate enough to view this. You are a lucky little girl, my Faye."

Faye listened attentively as her mother related to her the history of the carousel and Luna Park, then turned back to look at the famed carousel. She decided that her favorite horse was the blue one with the purple mane. Her eyes ached as she tried to keep the revolving painted horse in her view, and the carousel music played in the background of her mind.

As Faye watched the horse that she had claimed as her own, she imagined herself astride him, riding away into the wind just like in a fairy tale. She turned to tell her mother about her daydream, but when she looked, her mother was gone.

"Mummy?" she called uncertainly. She looked around in panic, not seeing her mother anywhere. "Mummy, where are you?" she called out. The day was settling into dusk and the crowd was getting thicker, the voices she heard around her were more raucous and the music she heard sounded ominous now. She stood on her tiptoes to find her mother in the sea of people, but she wasn't tall enough to see anything other than torsos and feet. None of them looked like her mother. Faye's throat tightened as she realized that her mother had left her all alone.

"Mummy!" her screams echoed in her ears.

*****

Faye gasped and woke with start, her breathing shallow and troubled. She looked around the room, her eyes darting from corner to corner, unable to focus on when and where she was. In her mind, she was still in that blurry place of her dreams, a place halfway between then and now. Faye shivered and wrapped the twisted blanket around her cold and sweaty skin. She willed herself to breathe deeply as the suffocating remnants of her dream faded, but she couldn't shake the emptiness of being alone. It was the same kind of emptiness she'd felt when Spike left.

She'd been happy then, her mother had loved her and now she was gone. She didn't feel the tears stream down her face as shallow sobs rose from her chest. Faye realized what she had lost - the innocence of her childhood.

******

Spike eyes shot open as he was awakened by screams from down the hallway.

Faye, he thought as he sat up in bed and listened to the cries coming through the walls. He slid open his room door and made his way towards Faye's room. As he stood outside her door, Jet appeared in the corridor and looked at Spike.

"It's Faye," Jet said grimly. "She's having another one of her nightmares."

"So does she do this often?" Spike asked dryly, stifling a yawn as he scratched his tousled curls. "It's amazing that anyone can get any sleep around here."

Jet looked at Spike in disgust. "Lighten up, Spike. The girl's been through a lot since her memories came back."

Spike shrugged and muttered something about falling for the shrew's games.

Jet frowned at him. "Spike, you weren't here for the worst of it, so do us all a favor and kill the attitude, alright?"

Spike shrugged again and turned to go back into his room.

"Spike?" Jet's voice was harsh and Spike turned back to look at him quizzically.

"What now, Jet?"

"You go take care of her this time. I'm going back to bed." With that Jet stalked away, leaving Spike staring at his retreating figure.

Spike swore under his breath. He stifled a yawn and turned back to Faye's door.

"Faye?" he called as he knocked. She didn't answer, but he could hear her crying from inside the room.

"Faye, you okay in there?" Spike called again. He opened the door and entered into the room now illuminated by the dim light from the corridor.

As he peered into the room, he could see Faye curled up in the farthest corner of her bed, chest heaving shakily, her eyes regarding him warily. He shifted uneasily under her gaze, hesitant. She didn't look like she was completely awake, and she was clearly in distress, her body trembling and her face streaked with tears. He took a deep breath, then walked over and knelt in front of her. As he reached over to touch her hand, she recoiled from him. He sat down on the bed, leaning over to place his hands on her shoulders.

"Faye, you were screaming in your sleep," he spoke softly. "Bad dream?"

Faye looked up at him, swallowing a sob. Her throat felt heavy and she did not trust herself to speak. She nodded. The memory of her dream had faded into emptiness, but she was still that little girl, alone and mourning the disappearance of her mother.

As Spike studied her face carefully, he saw the anguished confusion in her eyes, and he felt a twinge of guilt as he recalled his earlier words with Jet. He didn't want to feel sympathy for Faye, but she looked ... lost. He sighed and pulled her into his arms. She resisted weakly for just a moment, then sighed shakily and let herself be cradled in his embrace. They stayed that way for a while, the room quiet except for Faye's sniffles and the ambient hums radiating throughout the ship.

"I-I had a dream about my mother," she murmured.

Spike stayed silent, but tightened his hold around the girl in his arms.

The Grand Carousel is at Luna Park in Australia. In story canon, it was believed that Faye was born in Singapore to a wealthy family. I imagined that a trip to Australia would not be out of the realm of possibility.