A Bunch of Random Scenes I Wrote for My Book(s)

Dad. Gone. MAJOR TW

Hey y'all. I know it's been forever since I put anything out on here. This is super sad and talks about the loss of a loved one and also deals with a major depressive episode. If those are things that may trigger you, please know I'm here for you and you're not alone. Please don't feel pressured to read this. You can always ask for help. <3 Emma

Dad. Gone. James. Gone. The only two people that ever truly loved Joeline. Gone. She'll be fine without her father. Right? He'll show up tomorrow and say he just got lost in the crowd at the fair. Right? God, she's going insane. She props her head up with her hands as she leans against her white vanity. When she pulls her head up and looks in the mirror, she sees a girl she's never met before. Tear stains run down her face, fresh tears continuing to cover the footprints of the old ones. Her bright red hair is frizzy and matted to her scalp with sweat. Her green eyes are dull.  It's only been three days. She tells herself. There's still time. Deep down she knows he isn't coming back, but she holds out hope for her beloved father. He'll come back. He has to come back. He needs to come back. Sobs rack Joeline's body as she lowers herself onto her bed. She hasn't changed in three days. Hasn't spoken in three days. Hasn't showered in three days. Hasn't eaten in three days. She no longer felt human. She lays down and covers herself with a blanket that was a gift from her brother, James. It still smells like him. Not the grimy, post-military scent he had. His smell from when he was working back home. Pine and cherry from helping Dad cut down trees and from working with Mom at the bakery. She wraps herself up and sleeps on and off for four days. No one from her family bothers to check on her.
Joeline wakes for the first time in a panic. She's shaking violently as she tries to recall what caused her to wake up in this state. She can't think of anything. Joeline looks to the clock on her nightstand and realizes it's been almost twelve hours and it's just before midnight. She turns herself over, still wrapped in the blanket that holds the fondest memories she has of her brother, and falls back asleep.
While Joeline sleeps she dreams of being with her brother and her dad. They sit together on the porch swing in the front of the house and watch the sunset. Rocking back and forth, her brother holds her. Her father has a beer, and talks about the latest sports event. Joeline falls asleep in her brother's arms and he carries her upstairs to bed. There is something about it that feels so ordinary. Something Joeline wouldn't have thought to cherish. Something so comforting. Then, she wakes again. This time she can recall every detail of her dream and she cries herself numb. Until she can't feel anything anymore. She has no idea how much time has passed, but eventually, she re enters the land of her hopes and dreams, but also, her fears and nightmares.
Joeline is stuck in a loop. Dream, wake up, cry, numb, sleep. And then do it all over again. For four days.
Joeline wakes up on the fourth day and realizes that she needs to change something. She doesn't feel right. She doesn't feel like herself. Her life doesn't feel like her life anymore. She finally tears the blanket off, leaving herself feeling exposed. She sits up and her bare feet gently touch against the cold hardwood floor of her room. She looks around. Her light pink bedroom walls are covered in photos of her and her friends. Sean. Charlie. James. She looks at a single photo in particular for a long time. It's a photo of her and James at the mall, days before he left for the military. She sees how genuinely happy the both of them were. Oh, what wouldn't she give to feel that way once again. To be someone who left her house with her family. Someone whose life isn't controlled by their family. Although she was controlled by her family back then too. That photo was taken two years ago– almost to the day.

Joeline stands up and walks to the door. Her hand grasps the cold black metal of the doorknob and twists it with a short, high-pitched squeal. She pulls the door open. It feels heavier than before. She takes a few steps forward. Her legs feel heavier than before. The weight of her mind feels heavier than before. Her entire being feels heavier. She opens a cabinet and pulls out a bowl. Then a spoon. She pours herself a bowl of cereal and doesn't even bother with the milk. She walks into the living room, sits down on the couch, and stares off into the distance, not even touching the cereal.

The house is deadly silent. The kind of silence where everyone is afraid to say anything. Joeline can't help but assume that everyone else took the same eternal nap she did. Maybe that's why no one came to check on her. It is weird though, she thinks. I would think they would keep someone who's awake home to make sure no one got into the house. You wouldn't even think anyone was in the house if they just left me here. Joeline gasps. That's exactly what they did! She thinks. They left me here so someone would come in and take me away! How dare they– I've been keeping them safe and they have the nerve to- She's finally snapping. All the abuse she endured silently is catching up to her all in one moment. She kicks her bowl off the couch and onto the floor and the cereal spills everywhere. "Oh, crap." She takes a deep breath and tries to steady herself. She starts to pick up her breakfast with shaking hands when someone runs down the hallway into the living room. Joeline holds the spoon over her head, ready to whack anyone who tries to hurt her. But no one came.