possibility days | bbangsaz

1

I've got a heavy little secret
I'm about to fall in love with you
- let me take you away, wilhelm tell me

It's only a kiss.

It isn't even a surprise, because they mention it early on: So this is a story about two girls in love, they say. Last chance to get out. Minji remembers standing there and smiling, taking the script and saying, I don't mind. After all, it's not like a girl like her is about to balk at a challenge like that.

"It's a good story," she remembers saying, too. "I'll do it." There's clapping and hugging and people saying, We can't wait to tell you who you're working with, and Minji doesn't even remember being nervous, at the very least. Whoever it is, she just thinks, I'll do it anyway.

All considered, Minji does not have a problem with it. Until she meets Hanni.

It's not even that she doesn't like Hanni – Hanni's one of the good ones. Can act with a quirk of her brow, or the quiver of her lip, and don't even get Minji started about that thing Hanni could do with her eyes.

(And then, there's Hanni's laugh.)

Yet despite being actually all that, Hanni is never late – Minji's heard horrible diva gossip about actresses their age, and truth be told, she'd braced herself for something like that with Hanni, only to be proven wrong. Despite the ungodly hours, Hanni has always seemed to manage her temper, and she is always considerate, always walking around with an extra cup of coffee for Minji.

What's not to like, really? She has great eyes, and is actually, quite absurdly beautiful. She never touches Minji without telling her first where her hands are going to be (I am going to touch you here, then here – is that okay babe?), and Minji thinks it's so polite and endearing, like Hanni is always on her side.

Relax, Hanni would murmur, hand high on Minji's thigh. This is just me.

Yet always Minji trembles anyway.

The first time around, Minji chalks it up to the outdoor weather – their first kiss happens on a lakeshore, surrounded by trees, and they're damp from the rain. The skies are overcast and the wind is chilly, and Minji just thinks, of course it's the weather when Hanni moves in to kiss her finally and she shivers under Hanni's cold hands wrapped gently around her neck.

They do it in three takes, and afterwards Hanni wraps the towel she is handed around Minji first. "You're shaking," she just says, off the question in Minji's eyes. "You all right?"

"Yeah," Minji manages eventually. "You?"

Hanni smiles. "That nose bump thing was a killer," she says instead, leaning back in to press a playful peck on Minji's cheek, laughing as she pulls away to start walking back to her trailer. "See you later at dinner!"

Minji nods, swallowing hard, watching her move away, a hand against her cheek. Of course, it's only a kiss. And it's only a show, and it's only acting. Yet how would ignore the drumming inside her chest?

It's not even that she likes Hanni – except that she does.

(It's only a kiss. But it is a problem, nevertheless.)

*

Weeks pass between the shoot and the episode airing, and Minji watches it over dinner at Hanni's flat. They're all housed near the studio where they have been taping these days, and though Hanni lives three floors down, Minji doesn't mind hanging out, not really. The weeks between have been comfortable at best – like Hanni's almost a friend, which shouldn't be so bad, considering how they have been spending more hours in a day pretending to be lovers.

Tonight, though, Hanni's just Hanni – she's lounging on the couch beside Minji, wearing an oversized shirt and eating chicken wrap for dinner.

"Holy shit."