What am I doing.

Im sorry for this lol

Ed woke me up with a snarl at 3 am. "W-w-w-whats going on meow meow ?" I whimpered. "SHUT TF UP U WHORE" he responded. god, I love him so much. He threw me down 3 flights of stairs and I had to go to hospital but it's ok bc then he told me he was having a rough day. I will always forgive my darling meow meow.
The day I got out of hospital in a neck brace, Ed called me from his Manhattan apartment crying. "Bae i actually cheated on u with ur sister mate i'm sorry bruv can i get a bo'ol o' wa'er luv." At that moment my life took on a new purpose. I was going to hunt down and brutally murder my sister for stealing my meow meow from me.

Chapter 1 - Eddie Darling
I forgave my baby immediately. " O-o-o-o-of course i-i forgive you my sweet catboy <3" I stuttered cutely. "make me a sandwich u dishwasher." he snarled in return. As I made him a sandwich, it occurred to me that Ed was still in his Manhattan apartment across the world. That didn't matter. As long as my master was happy.

As i hand made bread, I thought about how I was going to catch and kill my sister. She was called Karen and i hadn't talked to her since i was 12 (so last year) and i found out she was selling Ed's feet pics on WikiFeet without my permission. Jesus it still made me furious. She lives in our parents home , at 34 years of age . I formulated a plan in my head to break in and stab her with the only weapon I had, a 22 Long Rifle Mini Revolver. I packed my bags and looked out my window in a stunning main character moment with murder on my mind.

Chapter 2 - The Second One
I woke up the next morning and looked at myself in the mirror. My Blonde-Brown-Purple hair was curly and also straight and fell in waves down my back to my femurs. My eyes were red, because I was so angry , but I can change the colour any time I want because I'm a mermaid fairy. and also a princess. my parents are dead- they died horrifically in front of me two days ago. But all my sadness went away when I heard a knock at my door. Running away from the mirror, I opened the door to see my beautiful ginger boy in front of me, leering cutely. "U look fine as hell  luv." he wheezed handsomely. I could almost smell oranges from his hair as he whacked my ass so hard my neck brace almost fell off.
I giggled cutely. He left immediately and vanished.
I could now leave the house and go kill my only sister.

Chapter 3 - Peppa Pig United
I got on a bus. I travelled for 34 minutes to get to my parents house. All the while I thought about my malewife, darling eddie, who so blatantly cheated on me. There is no way my sweet boy could handle my man-stealing mf of a sister right now. "I must protect him." I thought .
I arrived at my stop and left the bus gracefully. I'm so hot.
As I get inside the home of my childhood, i am greeted with the sight of my own sweet orangutan-haired boyfriend sitting within 6 INCHES of my skank sister. The sight of it upset me so much I broke both my kneecaps, ascended into heaven and rose again on the third day. I simply shattered. "ÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆ" I squawked in distress. i was so upset I shot My Darling Eddie three times through the cranium.

Chapter 4- immediate regret
oh dear.

Chapter 5 - Remembering Eddie
"No matter what, I will always remember my sweet, succulent, tasty catboy Ed Sheeran. He loved me when I was nothing and now I have killed him.... I have nothing left to live for." I wrote in my diary, sobbing my eyes out. I then made the executive decision to forcibly delete myself.

Chapter 6 - Dead
dead.

Authors Notes:
I want to thank the academy, i want to thank the Nobel prize awards, i want to thank myself and i want to thank ed sheeran for being my inspiration and my guiding light through this process. thank u as well, for reading my novella. I hope you're enthralled, bc i know i am.
Real talk tho I apologise for this it was a bit uncalled for.