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Run

Run
By -nopeee-

The writing style is well paced and keeps the reader engaged, the way Max writes in the notebook is a really interesting element to your story telling and it's showing Max's reality very well, I get a sense of acceptance for her situation but the way she is coping may be driving her a bit mad.

I feel like you could add a little more description about the layout of your scenes, while reading, I feel like the im there but the scene isn't vivid. That said the actions Max makes are very well written and emphasize her youth almost true to life.

Your story telling is clear and truly unique, the use of the notebook makes the story more realistic and relatable and makes for a good change of atmosphere (I really like the part with the list).

I think the conversation with Andrew is a little rushed as the storm seems a bit out of place, maybe you could make it start raining and bring it into the conversation so they both have a common problem to solve leading to a companionship and maybe even see if they are getting along or are still staying vigilant.

Instead of writing the perspective down you can simply put three asterisks (***) inbetween the paragraphs to show the perspective change.

The length of your chapter is great, with a few additions and a little tweaking I think you could get another thousand words in there and be on your way to creating a full novel. A novel I would 100% read.

You are a good author and with self patience and original story development you could have a masterpiece here. You should read The Dead by Charlie Higson, it was a book i read in high school, your story reminds me of it and i think it could provide you with some good inspiration.

My overall rating is 7/10