𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ↝ getō suguru

𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴

[SEPTEMBER, 2007]

v. THE INCIDENT

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𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦

GETO SUGURU WAS NO LONGER  YOUR GETO SUGURU.

and you knew that now.

it was something that not only your mind had realised, but your heart too. suguru was no longer the same and it should have been obvious from the second he returned from that failed mission all those months ago.

initially his change in behaviour was something that you had believed yourself to be overthinking. to think that the shorter dispassionate sentences were just suguru being tired. that him hugging you with less strength and effort was just suguru not in the mood for it. and that him avoiding eye contact was just suguru being upset with you.

foolishly enough, you might've still had hope, if it had not been for yaga standing in front of you at this very moment. telling you what suguru had done.

your world had come to a grinding halt, the sound so abrasive and ugly that you could not focus on another word that your principle continued to say. the tears were immediate and relentless, reacting to words that you had still not fully processed yet.

"he what—"

your brows furrowed deeper in confusion as you finally begun to register what principal yaga was saying. the tears continued to run down the contours of your nose, down to your lips and your neck, ruining the light makeup you had put on

"...no," you shook your head in pure disbelief, "no. suguru wouldn't. he would never." your voice was little more than a murmur. you weren't even sure if yaga had heard you as he continued to speak.

"suguru wouldn't do that! "you said more firmly this time, as if that would placate the truth, "suguru couldn't do something like that— there were innocent lives there. that's not my—"

your voice trailed off as your hands began to tremble. you tightened them into fists at your side, in hopes to hide it.

your eyes shifted to satoru beside you, as if to confirm that yaga was blathering nonsense. 

but all you found was the face of a broken boy. 

a look that you would never forget.

suguru may have been your boyfriend but he was satoru's one and only best friend and in you being so wrapped up in the aftermath of the incident, you had forgotten that you and satoru had been losing him.

you tore your eyes away from satoru's shaking figure, from his clenched fists that mirrored your own and from the similar tears that threatened to fall too, and focused on the wooden floor below.

"there's no way!" satoru yelled with a deep frown etched onto his face. his eyes were wide in distress, clearly also in disbelief of what yaga said.

"i also have no idea what the hell is going on..." yaga sighed. you took the chance to really look at your teacher and in seeing his clear disturbed state, the realisation of suguru's betrayal was sinking in. 

yaga turned to walk away, his heavy footsteps filling the dense silence between you and satoru. 

"s-sa–" you began but the white-haired teenager had already turned around. even despite the heaviness of the current situation, your heart broke just that bit more at the site of satoru's bloodied palms.

the hands that had held yours so gently in times of need and had wiped away tears in suguru's stead but when it really counted you could not do anything in return.

you hung your head low, feeling some sort of shame.

"i'll bring him back," satoru spoke through gritted teeth, "no matter what."

he spoke no other words as he stalked away, to where you did not know but you trusted in his words.

you had to.

you needed to believe him.

shit, you thought.

shit.

shit.

 shit.

you crumpled to the floor with a sudden loss of strength.

this was your fault. 

you saw this coming yet you did nothing. 

you should have been more assertive, more attentive, if only you had pushed those fuckin' selfish feelings of yours down deeper within yourself. you should have reassured him more, been better, been—

the tears were relentless now as you internally berated yourself. they drenched your cheeks and neck, already threatening to soak the rim of your school shirt.

your suguru had murdered an entire village with the same hands that he would hold you with. the very same hands that would lovingly caress your face was now the same that had blood soaking on it.

innocent lives were dragged into the mess suguru had created and you didn't know how you could even begin to rectify the situation.

your cries echoed down the poorly lit vacant corridor of the jujutsu school as you shrunk into yourself, tucking your knees impossibly closer.

your nails begun to dig into your arms as you encased yourself in a flesh-made prison, digging so hard that blood was being drawn but you took no heed.

the worst you had expected was for suguru to quit being a jujutsu sorcerer and for him to put an end to the relationship. not this. not for suguru to murder one hundred and twelve people. not for him to murder his parents in cold blood too.

your suguru would never.

but you had failed to realise that your suguru died, long ago.

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a/n:

had to publish on 24/12...

+ just one more part left :0