Hidden and Silent (SpyxFamily)

Ch. 1: Part Two

 He wasn't sure why the image of his mother came to him then. Her belly, swollen with his new brother, when he saw her. Damian was born and Demetrius could have held him forever. A sneaking wonder if there was more to family if he could feel the way he felt.

Or maybe he'd just been too deprived of human contact.

Demetrius huffed and regretted driving so fast as he clung to the door handle, slightly off balance in the middle of the woods. He was a short trip from the lab, it was so unnervingly close, and yet it couldn't break his focus on Damian, the centre of his vision.

Two pairs of headlights illuminated the area and Damian's small face showed well enough against the surrounding darkness.

Demetrius thought he might cry or laugh, he wasn't sure. There was no part of him that clearly told him what he was feeling.

Damian watched him, bewildered, and his thoughts flung wildly about, undecided on which to settle on first. There were too many.

"Ha." A hand crept up to Demetrius' eyes and his quiet, broken laugh cut through the rumble of engines as he stepped away from the damaged car.

"De. . . wha. . . " Damian failed to speak.

The mud squelched at Demetrius' feet and his knees dropped as he pulled Damian into a hug. He laughed bitterly. Relieved. Angrily. All of them?

He would kill him. His hatred burned on his skin, roiled in his gut, and ached in his muscles with no way to use it. The fear steadfastly planted in his bones dampened his impulsive need to tear Donovan down and he listened to it as much as he loathed it. Donovan had betrayed him and Demetrius hated him so much. Did he think it was fine? Because Demetrius couldn't do anything about it? Did he have no sense of duty to his son?

No.

Of course not.

When did he ever? He should have expected this.

Demetrius couldn't remember the last time he hugged Damian. He couldn't remember the last time it had felt like they were actually brothers. He was so small in his arms, and yet had grown so much without him.

Of course it was on purpose. This was his own fault. But he missed him. He shouldn't be hugging him like this. He shouldn't be letting himself feel like this. What was he doing? This was a bad idea.

No. It was fine. What was the point of it anymore? He had failed.

"Demetrius?" Damian choked and his big brother realized how tightly he was holding him. Like Damian was the last piece of sanity he had left. The last bit of something normal and positive.

Maybe he was.

Demetrius didn't let go. He didn't want to. He was just glad Damian was safe. He didn't appear hurt and it was all Demetrius could have asked for. He'd imagined the worst when he'd heard Damian was at the lab, and Donovan was infuriatingly calm about it. Thoughtful.

He knew then what would happen and he wasn't going to let it. Not like him. Damian was never supposed to know about any of this. He was supposed to stay away and be the one Desmond who escaped. The rest of them were screwed up and Damian just couldn't be allowed to be like them.

Demetrius buried his face in Damian's small shoulder and laughed a little harder.

What a mess.

What did he do now?

"Demetrius?" Damian was crying and his voice was hoarse.

Demetrius was scaring him.

He made his laughter fade to quiet and nothing was said for a long moment. He loosened his grip and drew back, planting his hands on Damian's shoulders, and sighed wearily.