Small

Safe Place

Darren tucked me into bed after Evelyn left for the evening. Dinner was just as good as I expected it to be. She really knew how to cook. I almost wished she could stick around and keep cooking for us.

"I found someone who you can talk to. A therapist. She specializes in childhood trauma."

"Trauma?"

"It means something you've gone through or are going through that makes you sad to think about or hurts you."

Trauma sounded really bad. "Oh."

"We have an appointment in the morning."

"Are you going with me?"

He laughed. "Of course. I'll be right there with you."

I nodded. My stomach felt all knotted and twisted up. I knew things would be fine but it still made me anxious to think about talking to someone I didn't know.

Darren kissed the top of my head. "It's gonna be okay, Aly. Things will be even better once this is behind us."

I really hoped he was right.

—

The therapist I was seeing worked in a big building. It looked plain and boring from the outside. It was just a large square building with windows all along the outside. An automatic sliding door opened up to reveal the lobby. On both the outside and inside of the doors were potted plants and flowers. At least they added something to make the place look nice and inviting.

A woman with a light blue blouse and brown-rimmed glasses sat behind a desk in the middle of the lobby. It wasn't a large space so there was just enough room for a few chairs along the wall on the left to go with the woman in front of us.

"Please sign in and someone will be with you shortly."

Darren nodded and picked up a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. A pen dangled from the clipboard on a chain.

I looked at the paper but since I couldn't read, I couldn't make out any of the words to know what it said.

Darren set the clipboard back on the top of the desk and turned in my direction. "Let's go have a seat. Someone will call us when it's our turn."

I followed him to the chairs by the window and sat down. I looked out the window behind us. We were on the second floor of the building. There were more floors above us but I didn't know how many.

"Don't be nervous, Aly. The first visit is always the easiest."

I looked over at Darren. He seemed so calm. I wish I could feel nearly half as calm as him. "Have you ever done this before?"

"No, but I know it won't be so bad. I know this therapist is going to love you."

I bit my lip. I didn't know who this therapist was. What if they were mean and scary? What if they didn't like me? What if they told me that all the horrible things I had been through were my fault?

"Miss Aly?"

I glanced at Darren before I looked in the direction of the woman who said my name. She was a tall woman with short black hair. She wore a white top and black striped pants that covered her shoes. She had pink lipstick on her lips.

She smiled at me once we made eye contact. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and got to my feet. I waited for Darren to follow me before I walked toward the therapist. Cautiously, I followed her into a small office.

The walls were brown and looked like wood. She had lots of plants throughout the room and it really brightened the place up. Her desk was pushed into a corner so a shorter desk could sit in the middle of the room. There were blocks, playdough, and magnetic shapes on the desk just waiting to be played with.

I really hoped that was what we did for therapy.

"Aly, why don't you have a seat? There are some chairs or you can sit on a pillow on the floor if you'd like."

I glanced at the chairs behind me, similar to the chairs in the waiting room, before I took a dark red pillow and sat down by the table.

The therapist sat down on a green pillow across the table from me and crossed her legs to her side. "Normally, I would have any plus ones wait in the waiting room but I understand this is a delicate situation."

I looked at Darren for clarification. I had no idea what she meant.

"She means that she would ask me to stay out in the waiting room while she talks to you."

I frowned. "But I want you here with me. You told me you'd stay with me."

"I would still be here. I would just be in another room."

I looked at the therapist and then back at Darren. "I don't... I want you in here."

Darren glanced at the therapist and I heard her take a deep breath.

"Aly, therapy is a private matter between those who are attending a session and the therapist. No one has to know what you say in a session except for us. This is a safe place."

I shook my head. "I... I don't want Daddy to leave me."

Darren walked over and sat down on the floor beside me. He took my hands in his. "Baby, I would never leave you. You mean so much to me. That would never happen."

I glanced at the therapist and then back at my hand in Darren's. "Is it okay if he's with me? Just this time?"

She gave me a smile and it made me feel better. "Sure. It matters to me that you're comfortable here. This is a safe place."

I nodded and turned to face the table. "Um... so, are we gonna play?"