Small

Laugh At Me

Our cart was full by the time we were done shopping. I learned that the store had all the food we could ever need or want and then some. It was overwhelming just looking at the amount and knowing there were other stores that had even more. I was excited to try out those stores but something small was okay with me for the time being. I could work my way up to that.

Walking past the people in the store wasn't as scary as I was expecting though I kept close to Darren the entire time. I wasn't sure if these people were safe or not and I wasn't about to find out.

As we approached the checkout, I noticed all the candy lining the shelf to the right. My eyes widened at how much there was and how easily accessible it was to me.

I patted Darren on the arm to get his attention.

"What's up?" He asked. He paused putting our food on the counter in front of us. The counter moved our food closer to the worker who rang our stuff up. That alone caught my attention and made me pause asking him my question.

"Um... daddy, why is there candy here? Can I have some?"

He laughed. "If you get candy then we can't get any ice cream. You have to pick one."

I stuck my bottom lip out. "That stinks. Why do they put it here? It's teasing me."

"That's why they do it." He finished putting the food up on the counter and pushed the cart toward where the bags were.

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

"It's called an impulse buy. It's there to entice people."

"You just said a bunch of words I don't know."

The worker behind the counter laughed and started bagging up the food we got into white plastic bags.

My face flushed and I looked down at my feet. Did I say something wrong to make her laugh at me? Was she making fun of me?

Darren pulled a wallet from his pocket and pulled a black card out from inside. He pushed it into a small machine in front of him and pressed a few buttons.

The girl behind the counter told us to have a good day and we walked away from her. I was grateful to be away from her and the rest of the people in the store. The fewer eyes on me, the better.

As we got to the truck, Darren pulled the latch for the tailgate down and climbed up into the bed of the truck. He had a large storage bin tucked against the back to put the groceries in.

"Hand the bags up to me, please."

I lifted the bags from the cart and set them on the tailgate for him to grab. "Daddy, can I ask you something?"

He set two bags in the tote before he turned to face me again. "Yeah. What's on your mind?"

"Why did that girl laugh at me?"

He seemed surprised by my question. "I guess she thought you were funny."

I scowled. I didn't like the thought of anyone laughing at me. I was still learning and, even though not everyone knew that, it still wasn't right to make fun of me for it.

Darren finished putting the bags into the storage bin before he closed it and walked back to where I was. He jumped down and closed the tailgate.

I stayed silent as I walked to the door of the truck and waited on Darren to unlock it. I was eager to learn new things and be out in society like a normal person but it was so intimidating. I didn't know anything because of how sheltered my life had been. I wanted to learn how to do things and be more independent. I didn't need any negativity to hold me back.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, Darren looked over at me. "What's on your mind, baby?"

I looked out the window and watched all the cars we passed and the ones that passed us. "Do you think people look at me differently?"

"Because you don't act like everyone else?"

I looked over at him and nodded. It was like I was set up for failure. I was never taught how to do anything for myself. I couldn't cook on my own or get a job. I couldn't even change my own diapers without struggling at times. I spent the majority of my life being dependent on someone else to take care of me and I was starting to resent it.

"If everyone acted the same, everyone would be pretty boring. You're unique, Aly. That's a good thing."

"I just hate that I can't do stuff."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just don't feel like I know how to do anything. I feel so stupid."

He looked over at me. "You've been in fight or flight mode for years. You were focused on surviving rather than learning things and growing. That's normal for someone in your case. You can always learn new things at a later time but you can't do that if you aren't alive to see it happen."

Darren was right. So much of my life was spent just surviving and trying not to get myself into trouble. Owen was so unpredictable that my days were never the same, even if I did develop a routine for myself. There was always something going on in his mind that made me on edge no matter what was going on that day. That trauma alone was enough to set me back in life.

"How do I move past that?"

"Do you want to see a therapist?"

"A therapist?" I'd never heard of that before.

"They're someone you can talk to. They help you find a solution to your problem. They can help you... move past everything that happened in your past."

"Do you think I should?"

"It's entirely up to you but I think you should at least consider it. I know there are some things you don't like talking to me about so having someone else to talk to about it might help you."

"But if I don't want to talk to you, then why would I talk to a stranger?"

"They wouldn't be a stranger. Maybe at first but after a while, you'd get used to seeing them. Everything you two talk about would stay just between the two of you."

"Would I... get in trouble for what we talk about?"

He smiled. "Only if you hurt somebody. But I don't think you have to worry about that."

I nodded. Maybe it was worth trying. Having someone to talk to about all the bad things I'd seen might have been helpful. Maybe I could get past all my issues and try to be a different person than who I was with Owen. "Okay. Will you go with me?"

"I could wait in the waiting room but I wouldn't be allowed in the office."

"Oh."

"We can talk about it more later. Maybe after we have some ice cream."

A smile spread on my face and I squeezed Ted a little bit tighter. "Daddy, I love ice cream."

He laughed. "I know you do."

--- 

Edited 2/8/2023

*Hey everyone! Quick author's note here! I just wanted to let you all know that I have been editing this story for a while now and realized that I hated how this story ended. I think when I originally wrote it, I was getting burnt out and just wanted to end it. I can't believe I was ever at that point but I've evolved my writing since then and have a clearer picture for where I want this story to go. With that being said, I'd like to ask for some input on the future of this story. I'm debating on ending this story here and starting a new story from where this stops OR just continuing with this story. It's entirely up to what you all want me to do. Until then, I'm going to keep writing and working on this story so when we have a decision, I can move forward with that and begin posting more chapters. Thank you all for reading my story and loving it as much as I do! Aly and Darren are such special characters and I really love writing about them.