that feeling every night (Completed)

6. tangled

my phone's alarm has yet to ring while I lay on my bed,
I could not fathom all the things running in my head;
it all takes me back to that place
where Helios lit up your marvelous face,
and when you lay your eyes on me like I'm a scenic view,
for all the times when I enjoyed the feeling of deja vu—
my memories crawling up from the grave,
bringing back the love I had thrown away.

nights remind me of one I had with you in a tent,
and my sight was you breathing like I've always dreamt—
with your eyes closed, sleeping like a good kid,
then I hoped my lips would reach yours but, of course, it never did;
and my heart paced like I was in a marathon, finishing up the race,
until her presence in your life starts making things fall into place,
when I saw Eros hitting you two with the same arrows,
so I was left here killing all my hopes for this life's greatest sorrow.

and the healing I had always prayed for is overdue
now all the blood from the wound is still fresh and uncured
spreading like wildfire and touching my friends,
staining all ties I've made with them;
back when I was standing at the edge of the cliff,
I'd always been seeing you at the escarpment;
it's my name you've always called,
but were you even looking at me to catch me in my greatest fall?

I despise my mind that constantly reminds me of the past—
all the things I should have forgotten, never meant to last,
and how I wonder if you had lived the same way too,
but with that face, for sure, you've never seen so cruel,
like how you ignored all the messages I've sent,
just to keep us tied but I guess this is the end;
yet here I smiled looking at the figure of you,
at the photo sent by your friends you consider true.

— JAYVIE