A strange feeling of someone's gaze on her spiked through Yosano's senses as she cleaned up her workspace. She didn't react much to it, but it was becoming weird since that jabbing sensation in the back of Yosano's head due to someone staring at her was persistent.
- Are you just going to stand there and watch me? Or do you need something, and you'll plead for it like a stray dog?
The sound of papers getting clipped together filled the silent medical room. Yosano placed her glasses on & clicked her pen. She quickly wrote something on a patient's medical file.
Yosano turned around in her chair & crossed her legs. She placed her elbow on the white desk & rested her tired face on her palm. She looked up at Dazai, who stood in the doorframe of the medical room's entrance & he had a blank expression.
- Someone important to you... to me, and many others almost died.
To Yosano's side was a hospital bed in which Genji was lying in, sleeping & looking like she was passed out cold in a coma. Genji had a change of clothes, having been given a T-shirt & a skirt to wear by Naomi. Genji slept on her side with her hands near her shoulders with her head tilted to the side toward Yosano's direction.
- Why is that, Dazai? - Yosano lowered her head a little & her glasses slid down to the tip of her nose. - Why wouldn't you let go of her?
Dazai stepped inside the medical room & closed the door behind him, no longer standing between the doorframe. He leaned against the wall & slowly glanced at the woman soundly sleeping on his left. The dyed parts of Genji's hair were spread across her face a little, but most of her hair lay on her forehead. Genji softly shifted in her sleep & she turned to rest on her side toward Dazai.
- Has time stopped for you, even if it was just for a small, little second?
Yosano pushed back her glasses & sighed:
- I suppose it has... once.
- And when time stopped, did you stop with it?
- I did.
- Then you understand.
Yosano leaned back in her chair. She took off her glasses & put them aside while gently rubbing her closed eyes.
- I get what you mean. It was just weird to see it happen in person, to see someone experience loss.
Dazai tilted his head & his detached facial expression softened for a moment, but only for a moment. He looked at Yosano with that same deadpanned expression, which somehow conveyed sorrow at the same time. At least from Yosano's perspective, it did.
- But I haven't lost anyone.
- But you almost did. Almost all of us did.
Dazai glanced at the floor & he relaxed his tense shoulders. The blood appeared on the grass again, but the second he blinked, it disappeared & he could see the grey, concrete floor again. Yosano raised her head a little to get a better look at Dazai, but he kept avoiding her gaze.
- And then you asked me to kill you.
Dazai stared at the lights above him.
- To be heroic means to be selfless, but to be selfless means they have to act on their feelings instead of thoughts.
Yosano raised a brow at Dazai's sudden declaration & she ran her fingers through her hair. She grabbed Genji's medical reports & quickly looked through them. The only box which wasn't filled in was the cause of death, which would've been murder.
Yosano raised a brow & she ran her fingers through her hair. She grabbed Genji's medical reports & quickly skimmed through the papers. The only box that wasn't filled in was the cause of death, which would've been murder.
- To risk one's life for another's is seen to be heroic and selfless. But, honestly, it's pretty stupid, just like it is to act on feelings rather than thoughts.
Dazai glanced at Yosano's desk behind her. He noticed a few origami papers folded to be butterflies or medical tools.
- To prioritise your life over another's is seen as selfish, but it's the logical way to act.
- Where are you going with this, Dazai? - Yosano cut him off as she yawned, staring at Dazai with a bored look. - Did you really come here just to quote some sort of poem written a hundred years ago?
- I'd just like to comment on these recent events. Where has my freedom of speech gone? - Dazai exaggerated the hurt tone in his voice as he placed his hand on his chest.
- If you can speak freely, that means I can shit-talk you freely as well. We live in an era where everyone should have equal rights. - Yosano got off her chair & took off her medical coat. She placed it on the coat rack, where her bags hung too. - I know what you're getting at, Dazai. I'm just not the right person for you to talk about this. - Yosano stretched her arms & then sat back down.
She grabbed Genji's medical reports & placed them away into a folder.
- Go take up your reasons and thoughts either with Genji or God since I don't want to listen to anything you have to say.
- That's so cruel, Yosano-san. - Dazai pouted. - Well, do you at least know when my Angel should wake up?
Yosano yawned again:
- Soon. I'll stay here a little longer, but if Genji doesn't wake up, I'll wake her up myself. - Yosano smiled at the thought.
- Alright then. Well, take care. - Dazai said as he smiled at Yosano & bid her goodbye.
Yosano waved goodbye to Dazai & she turned back to her desk again.
Around half an hour later cleaning & daydreaming, Yosano heard something shuffling from behind her. She turned around & saw Genji's eyelids twitch a little & her eyebrows furrow.
YOU ARE READING
love dive // dazai osamu.
Fanfiction- You're just so beautiful. I couldn't help myself, angel. - ...Thank you. - she answered in a whisper. - By the way, do you have any scissors? I need to cut the tip of the bottle. - Of course, I have scissors. I always make sure to keep my scissors...
