Lotte and Lessi Russo

Chapter 9

Still sitting on the the couch in Lotte's living room, Alessia found herself engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions, her thoughts swirling in a chaotic dance that left her feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed. Her attention shifted to Lotte, and her heart sank as she absorbed the pained expression etched across the other women's features. It was as if the beautiful memories of their time together and their unforgettable kiss had shattered into countless fragments, each reflecting uncertainty and the weight of uneasiness.

The storm of turmoil within Alessia grew stronger, a fierce tempest of guilt and self-doubt that raged without restraint. "What have I done?" The words echoed sharply in her mind, her eyes darting between Lotte and the consequences of her actions.

The walls of the room seemed to close in, a suffocating pressure that triggered a surge of anxiety deep within Alessia. Her initial impulse was to escape, to flee from the tangle of emotions she had unintentionally stirred. Her muscles tensed, poised for a sudden, impulsive departure from the couch and the bewildering situation.

Suddenly, but as so often lately, Alessia found herself transported back to a similar situation. It was a memory from her college days, one that naturally involved Lotte, but in a completely different context.

The scene she revisited was set in July, just after the 4th of July festivities, during which Lotte and Alessia had shared a kiss on the football field. It was also a few weeks before the end of the season, and the memory brought Alessia back to some college classroom, a setting where her political science professor had made an announcement that sent a ripple of unease through her.

"Today, my esteemed students, our discourse will revolve around the complex and pressing matter of equal rights for LGBTQ+ individuals, specifically concerning the realm of marriage and adoption," Dr. Miller's voice reverberated with a gravity that demanded attention. Alessia's shock was palpable, her equilibrium disrupted by the unexpected topic. Homosexuality itself posed no issue to her; after all, a significant number of her teammates was openly gay. However, after the... incident... that had unfolded with Lotte, this subject suddenly felt uncomfortably close for her liking.

Alessia's gaze darted tentatively toward Lotte, her intention to assess Lotte's feelings on the matter, to see if she shared the same uncertainty and discomfort. After all, she didn't really know about Lotte's perspective on their incident, which was probably due to Alessia consciously avoided talking about it.

During their stroll back to the party on the 4th of July, Alessia had already observed that Lotte appeared ready to approach the subject of the kiss and its implications. However, with more or less skillful finesse, Alessia guided the conversation in a different direction. In the subsequent days, whenever there was a chance that the dialogue might gravitate toward that topic, Alessia swiftly redirected the discourse as well. Although she could feel Lotte's perplexed gazes on such occasions, an inexplicable force within Alessia hindered her from tackling the issue directly. The exact reason eluded her grasp, and she felt sorry for Lotte, who seemed to be looking for some answers to her questions.

However, at this moment in the classroom, there was no trace of uncertainty and discomfort concerning the topic of LGBTQ+ in Lotte's demeanor. Instead, Alessia noticed a sparkle in Lotte's eyes as they remained fixed on the professor. Swiftly, Lotte's hand shot up, eager to participate in a question that seemed to have slipped past Alessia's attention, lost in the enchanting image of Lotte with her tousled bun and an unbuttoned linen shirt that had drawn her gaze away from the professor.

The political science lectures seemed to be a source of genuine enthusiasm for Lotte, this fact didn't escape Alessia's notice. She couldn't help but admire how Lotte immersed herself in intricate political topics, delving into them and articulating her perspective. If Alessia were completely honest, it went beyond mere admiration; there was an undeniable attraction she felt toward a woman of such intellect and capabilities. Yet, as much as she acknowledged this truth, she swiftly pushed the thought aside, reluctant to dwell on it for too long.