Touch (Chishiya X Reader)

ch 10: hearts (pt1)

pov of Y/N

It's been three days since Kenji and Shoto came to The Beach, and Kenji a big help dealing with Niragi. I'm a lot more confident with dealing with him because I know he's has got my back. I mean I did feel safe with Chishiya around but now he's just a painful thought. 

I want to forgive him, I want to forgive him so bad, but two damn years of me being just an opinion to him? I don't know really how to even go about moving past that. He fought for us when he told me at first but I think I just was too close-minded about what he would even attempt at saying to keep us together that he knew he couldn't change my mind, at least at that time.

Kenji has also been a good distractor.

Every night was agonizingly slow without Chishiya's arms around me, but it's especially been hard knowing we didn't make it to four years. I truly thought he was the one but then he said some stuff a year ago about not wanting marriage or kids while I definitely wanted both of those thing. He said he was just stressing over the fact we were going to my friends wedding days later, he was drinking and just needed some relief from stress when someone mentioned marriage to us. 

I learned just not to ask or really bring up anything about the future with him, it always seemed to freak him out. 

But it didn't freak me out, I was rather excited just thinking of advancing our relationship. I didn't want to force or make him uncomfortable though so I didn't bring it up. Even my friends thought that this deep in a relationship was bound to spark talk of serious topics like marriage, moving into a house, children. 

They all also got married young so they just had naturally fast-paced relationships with their partners. 

I was suddenly brought out of my head when Kenji nudged me. I blinked a few times looking around the room to remember where I was. It was late night when everyone else was downstairs partying, I was up in me and my friends room with a bunch of people. Yuta, Shoto, Haruto, RIki, Kenji, Aria, Yuki, Kuina, Arisu, Usagi, Tatta, and of course Chishiya.

"Pardon?" I chuckled awkwardly, trying to laugh off my embarrassment that I dazed off looking at the floor just thinking of him.

"You okay?" He asked and I nodded with a laugh.

"Just tired is all." I lied and he chuckled and just restated why he nudged me.

"You should tell them how we met, Shoto and Yuki just told us about how they got to know each other." He suggested. I chuckled because this story always makes me laugh. So I started to tell this long story of how I met him at a party but he was extremely drunk so I was assigned to him by his friend (who I had never met at the time) to keep track of his drink intake. During that 'assignment' he had 16 drinks that I know of, he kept running away from me to get more drinks that I wasn't going to take away from him so sometimes I lost him for a little bit.

We were both kind of laughing about it like friends do and everyone else was finding our meeting story rather humorous and funny so they were laughing, everyone except Chishiya. He was just staring at me and I felt his eyes just stick onto the side of my head, but this stare was something I don't think I've ever seen. I assumed it was jealousy though, don't know why... just assumed so because Kenji was just nudging me and we were being friendly which to some eyes may look flirtatious because we were just that type of friends who people always think are dating.

I mean before I told the people I worked with that I was in a relationship with someone else it was a rumor me and Kenji were a thing. 

Nonetheless me and Kenji never saw each other as more than friends. Yes we were both straight but he never gave me a reason to believe he liked me, plus I wouldn't let anything happen since I was loyal to Chishiya. 

-

Kenji helped me re-bandage my thigh and reassured me it wasn't getting infected. I limped out of the bathroom and to my bed where I flopped back on it and let out a giant exhale as I lifted my arms only to throw them above my head and onto the bed making my body into a star shape. I closed my eyes and just waited for him to say something, the tension in the room whenever it was just us two wasn't sexual at all but rather hurt; he knew I was hiding a lot from him. He let out a sigh and sat down on the bed beside my body.

I felt his eyes boring into my face and I opened one eye to see him turning his body to face me on the bed. He had his legs in a criss-cross position and I groaned and closed my eyes again at his awaiting posture.

"Please don't make me talk about it." I sigh, my voice already getting shaky. I knew he wanted to talk about why I was ignoring and avoiding Chishiya, he only found out two days ago that it was an official break up and not just a break, to Chishiya it could be different but to me we were done.

"It'll make it better." He scoffed and I sat up, putting my hands in my lap. I stared at my hands because I didn't really know how to tell him everything and keep my composure. It still felt like yesterday we were together, I mean it only took a few minutes for our relationship to end. I don't know if I was more of an idiot than he was. I mean I ended a 4 year relationship in what felt like seconds. 

I let out a trembling exhale and didn't let the tears that were gathering in my eyes fall. "For two fucking years, Kenji, he cheated on me." He tensed up as any friend would learning someone they cared about was cheated on for any period of time not to mention two years. "And I can't understand why. He said he was missing me but it just doesn't make sense. Maybe it was just schedule conflicts between us."

"Did he at least say he was sorry?"

"He did, but he also said it meant nothing which almost kills me more somehow."

Kenji sighed and sat down with his feet hanging off the bed like mine were. He hugged one arm around my shoulder and I leant my head against his shoulder before he placed on mine next. "Y/N you know I would never lie to you because I want you to be happy and I just want the best for you in every situation. But every time I saw you together, I saw the way you looked at each other. I could tell just from those glances he gave you that he loved you because he looked at you the way you looked at him. Maybe it's the fact I'm also a man that has unfortunately done the same things he did. But all I wished for after I told my girlfriend what I did was forgiveness. Men who cheat are usually young and dumb and regret it every time it happens-"

"So you're saying I should forgive him?" I sniffled.

"I know it's going to be hard to forgive, but maybe just a second chance is all he needs to realize he is either what's best for you or what's wrong for you."

I opened my mouth to speak but the door opened and I saw Yuki and Yuta. 

"Time for games bitches!"