Dead Inside(Kenneth McCormick x Butters Stotch yaoi)

Chapter Ten: It's All Over...?

Butters' POV

I sit, rocking back and forth repeatedly, behind the elementary school building. It's been a month and I have had no contact what-so-ever with Kenny. He's been gone for a month... a whole month...

I cut myself again last week... Cartman stared pushing me around again and hurting me worse than before. I've come back to wherever I call my home that day covered in bruises and cuts that weren't from me. Lots of people say that it would be enough pain and cuts, but it doesn't match evenly with mental pains.

I sit up a bit. I shouldn't be doing this. Kenny wouldn't want me to. He'd get upset again... I don't like him upset, it hurts me...

But he isn't here. He can't tell me what he does and doesn't want or like... he's somewhere else.

... I just want him to come home...

I suddenly hear a noise beside me and I look to see what it is.

My breathing gets faster at the sight. "Hello, Butters." Eric Cartman grins evilly and walks towards me. I get up and start backing away.

"L-leave me a-alone!" I yell at him. He chuckles.

"I just wanna talk." I shake my head and keep going backwards. He pulls his phone out of his pocket. "I have a way to talk to Kinnee." He says.

He... no! No, don't believe him, Butters! He'll hurt you again!

I continue going backwards. "I-I-I don't believe you!" I tell him.

"Fine then. I'll just tell him you don't love him anymore." He says. My eyes widen.

"You c-c-can't get to him! You can't, I-I know you can't!" I yell. I turn to run, but I feel him topple onto me. "Help! He-" I start to call out, but he covers my mouth.

"Shhh... nothing will happen if you cooperate. I just need you to smile for Kinnee for me, okay?" He says quietly, pulling me to my feet and away from sight. His hand stays over my mouth. "Okay, are you going to yell or run from me?" I shake my head. He uncovers my mouth. He holds up his phone to take a picture, but stops.

He grins evilly while looking at me. "One more thing..." He puts down the phone and starts coming towards me.

Out of nowhere, yet at a completely expected time, he pushes me to the ground and starts punching me. I try to cry out, but he covers my mouth again. "Shut up, Butters." He says. He gets up, pulls me to my feet, and pushes me hard against the school wall. He punches me a few time in the gut, ribs, and chest.

"There we go; perfect picture for him." He takes a picture and leaves me there.

My nose, right cheek, forehead, and lip are cut, my left eye and most other areas of my face are gonna bruise, my arm is hard to move, and everything else besides my legs just hurt in general. It even hurts to breath. I sit mtself against the wall and feel myself start to cry.

Even that hurts! I can't do anything but think without something hurting... it doesn't matter much anyway. I'm already completely dead inside. I'm almost dead outside, too.

Then, I remember Kenny. He helped this battle get easier. A whole fucking month without him has hurt about even to what Cartman has done.

Cartman can't talk to him. He doesn't have any way to reach the internet, he doesn't have a working phone, and he didn't tell anyone his address because not even he knew. There's no way... he's just a sadistic basterd set on making everyone else's lives living hells. So far, he's succeeded on one for sure... I don't know who else he hurt. I don't want to. I just want Kenny...

~*~ Three weeks later

...

This is it. This is the last time... no more... I can't take it...

To whoever 'cares',
My life is horrible. They bully me, they hurt me, they push me around. I'm left alone, no one is hear to help. No one cares until it's too late, and even then, people don't really care. I have had enough. Enough of a life alone, of being hurt, of always waiting for a brighter day to come, but always ending up in more rain. The lightning has struck down hard this time, and it hit me. Not like anyone really cares. Kenny, I love you and I always will. Stay strong for me, no matter what, okay? You have to promise...
Goodbye...
-Leopold Stotch

I feel tears go down my face. They land on the paper.

I pull the small switchblade out of my bag and hold it against my wrist. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and quickly cut as deep as I can go. I yell out in pain. I look at my wrist and see the blood start to pour out. Everything starts grtting darker and darker.

Eventually, I feel myself fall over and just...

Die

~*~

I slowly open my eyes and groan.

What?? Was it all just a dream? No, no I remember the pain...

I try to look around at my settings. After a few seconds, my eyes adjust and I see that I'm in a hospital room.

No! No, I was supposed to die! I'm supposed to be dead! I look at my wrist and see that they have it wrapped. I try to sit up, but the wires are so bundled that they keep me down.

"Why can't y-you just let me die?" I ask in a whispered, croaky voice.

After a bit, a nurse walks in.

"Oh, hello Leopold." She says.

"How d-do you know my name?" My voice croaks the words.

"Your note. It told us who you were, and we contacted your parents." My eyes widen.

"No! No, g-get me out of here! Don't let them see me, please! I'm begging you! Please!" I plead her.

She raises a brow in confusion. "Okay, I'll get on that. Do you need anything else?"

I look down. "I need Kenny..." I say. She smiles and nods. She walks out of the room. In a few short moments, I see Kenny walk into the room with tears in his eyes.

"Butters!" He says, kneeling by the bedstand and grabbing my hand. "Oh thank god you're okay and alive!" I just look at him.

"When did y-you-"

"Yesterday night. A family member from here shared the newspaper with us." He inturupts me.

I was in the news? Over this? See... no one cares until it's too late...

I look at Kenny in the eyes. "I'm so sorry Kenny." I say with my croaky cracked voice.

He shakes his head. "No, no no no, no. Don't be sorry. Life is fucked up, and it's hard to deal with it alone." He comforts me. He reaches his hand up and starts playing through my hair. "I'm not leaving you, again." He says, smiling.

I feel myself slightly smile. I cough a bit. "Y-you're staying?" I ask. He nods.

"I'll get a job, get us somewhere to stay, and we'll stay together. I promise, I'm never leaving you again." I smile wider. "And you'll still go to school. You can teach me at home, sort of like homeschooling." He jokes. I laugh quietly. "One question first; who hurt you?" He asks in a serious tone.

I stop smiling and laughing. "Eric..." I say quietly.

I see rage grow in his eyes. "He won't hurt you again. Ever."

I smile again. He leans up and kisses my forehead.

"It'll all be better. I promise."

~*~