15.

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Burnout.

2:15 a.m.

Rocking my legs back and forth, my hand shakes as anixety consumes me; along with fear, uneasiness, doubt

Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.

Rocking my legs back and forth, my hand shakes as anixety consumes me; along with fear, uneasiness, doubt.

There's a familiar aroma in the air, mixed with the normal scent Kevaun carries.

I barely remember what happened a few hours ago, but I know it took me here- seated on a chair directly ahead of the hospital room he's in.

My feet are cold, the pace of my heart is slow and light contractions makes my body tense.

It's hard for me to keep my emotions under control, as everytime I blink a tear falls.

My mind struggles with settling on one thought, mostly because I am thinking about him.

I hate this.

keep calm, Celest; memba the baby.

Jesus peez.

Leaning back in the chair, my hand gently caresses my navel and my breathing relaxes in a second just as my mind slowly starts to drift off to a particular person.

My baby.

Believe it or not, this baby is the only thing keeping me from doing anything stupid but if it was under different circumstances, I'd be another one held in a hosptial room.

This is just too much for me and I honestly do believe he'll pull through but what after..?

I can't continue like this.

I really did think we passed this but then again, something always has to happen concerning him.

just stop think about that right now.
get some sleep.

Thinking about it, I really do need some sleep.. but our baby is resisting the rest, which constantly brings me awake whenever I close my eyes.

Bwoy oo' bwoy.

For the third time, my eyes close and I rub my belly for a little comfort.

But a semi-hard kick pulls me awake and I groan in frustration.

"Please allow mommy to sleep, baby." I whisper; my lips waver and my vision becomes blurry.

Mi really can not bother eno.

Why me always affi be the one in this position?

I prayed day and night not to be in a similar situation as to what happened a few months ago but look where I am- God was definitely not listening.

do not say that.

I just.. mi nuh know what else to think.

I feel so empty.. demented with worry and all different sorts of emotions.. and it's even worse because I can't do anything about this.

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