This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
[15]
song: reykjavic by brolin

She'd fallen asleep for the first time in two days. Everything has been so fast paced, she'd barely had any time to sit let alone close her eyes. Whether it was purposeful or not, she'd found herself in bed, knocked out and dreaming about his lips on hers.

It was a state of mind that she craved, empty, and slow— almost loopy. The high had hit her harder assumedly from the lack of food in her stomach, but she didn't mind it. It was quicker to kick in, lasted longer. She'd remember that for next time.

Next time.

She was unmoving in her bed, awake now for what felt like several hours, yet still too exhausted to move. Her mind was trying to tell her she'd done something bad. Desperately trying to get her to hurt, and to cry, to remind her that she'd fucked up. But Cassie was so numb now, that she wouldn't even let herself begin to feel that guilt.

That guilt for using again, and that guilt for kissing him.

It'd felt too good to feel any sort of remorse for, and it'd been so long since Cassie felt good.

It wasn't until her phone started ringing on her desk that Cassie had put in effort to move. Her bones were stiff and sore as she pushed up on her elbows to lift her up. She was still in her clothes from earlier, and she had slept on top of all of her blankets.

She moved her mess of hair out of the way as she lazily snatched her phone off the table, answered it without really looking at who it was, then putting it to her ear.

"Hello?" Her voice was more coarse than she was expecting.

"We got it, Cassie." Rafe's voice, Rafe saying her name, made her heart skip a beat. And it was that she focused on first, and then when the rest of his sentence kicked in, she got to her feet. "Are you still at your place? I'm coming to get you."

She was shaking her head, a newfound migraine poking out from behind her eyes as she tried to focus. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, we—" he starts. "Listen, I'm almost there, alright?"

She was pacing slightly, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, she could've toppled over at any second, her body lacking in the fuel it needed to keep her upright. "Okay, okay, yeah. I'll be ready." She nods eagerly, already heading out of her bedroom door and back down the hall to the bathroom.

There was a sense of joy and relief she felt at the thought of him already on his way to her place, before even calling to make sure she could go. That, despite him not wanting her there earlier, he was going out his way now to pick her back up.

Rafe said something else, something along the lines of 'see you soon', or 'goodbye', but she didn't really hear any of it. She kept the phone to her ear, despite the end tone being the only sound that came from it, as she opened the medicine cabinet.

Three more pills wouldn't hurt; she was having a migraine.

It was when she was walking downstairs that she realized how late it was. All the lights were off and her grandma was in her bedroom asleep.

She used her phone flashlight to guide her to the kitchen, to fill a glass of water to take her pills with. As she stood leaned against the counter, she held her light up to the calendar on the fridge, scanning each box.