The Ten-Year Game Plan

Chapter 36- Josie

The next weekend, Donovan and the team had a bye week so both of us drove home. This time he drove with one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped around my upper thigh. There was no distance between us on this drive, no uncomfortable silence, no secrets.

And because our families were hosting a barbecue and our friends never said no to a free home cooked meal, they were driving in a car behind us most likely gagging every time Donovan leaned over at a red light to kiss me. Still, I smiled every time he pulled away. Even when our friends honked behind us.

Donovan would just lean back over, flip them off in his rear view mirror, and kiss me again.

That drive was probably the longest it had ever taken me to get home.

"I thought I was going to have to send Marcus out after you two, did you break down or something?" Mom asked after she finally released Donovan and I from her death grip she called a hug.

Donovan's blue eyes sparkled. "Or something."

Marcus pretended to gag and he reminded me so much of Danny that I glanced at the Starr house on instinct. Donovan followed my glance and shrugged.

"He said he's feeling up to it," he explained, "so he'll probably make an appearance tonight. Hopefully, not for long."

The oldest Starr boy clearly did not approve of his brother joining us for the barbecue, but I hoped that the youngest would take my advice soon and talk to his brother. At some point, Danny had to tell his family that he knew his own limits. The fact that he was coming tonight, despite their protests, was a step in the right direction.

My mom ushered my friends and I to the backyard where half the neighborhood was already gathered, drinking, eating, and enjoying an unusually warm fall day. One of the last of the season most likely.

Cam and Gisele were Troutman Barbecue veterans but Patrick and Winston were new to the party. The last time Donovan went to one was over five years ago. He came once with his family when we "hated" each other, but we spent twenty minutes bickering before he stormed out.

"D'you remember," Donovan began, passing me a plate, "that one barbecue where you yelled at me for an hour about the electoral college? And then you dumped ketchup on my shoes?"

I winced. "Okay, I maintain the ketchup thing was an accident."

"They were new shoes."

Cam glanced at me as she filled her own plate raising her eyebrows and I rolled my eyes in response. Clearly, he was being dramatic.

"I did not dump the ketchup, okay?" I shrugged, dumping a glob of mac and cheese on the plate. "Your shoes ran into my ketchup."

Donovan laughed and Cam snorted at my response. Both of them seemed as though they were going to respond, but when I glanced back up Donovan's face had fallen and the color left his complexion. I didn't need to turn around to know that his brother was walking into the backyard-- I could tell by the way his body seemed to wake up. Seemed to be ready to rush to Danny's side the moment he needed it.

Tightened shoulders, rapid breathing, and darting eyes. It was hypervigilance.

Early on, when I would go to therapy for my dad's illness, my therapist told me that people reacted differently to trauma. She said that it wasn't as simple as fight or flight.  Some people shut down completely and some become so brutally conscious of everything happening around them as if they're waiting for an explosion to go off.

Me? I shut down. But Danny was Donovan's explosion, and lately the oldest Starr boy just seemed to be waiting for him to go off.

Donovan dropped his own plate, discarding it on the side of the table as he grabbed another one and started piling food on it. The plate was meant for Danny, of course, and he would likely eat two bites of it before setting it aside. Still, his older brother tried to shove as much food on the limited surface area as he could.