The Ten-Year Game Plan

Chapter 40- Donovan / Josie

"Hi," she murmured back, her voice small.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Do you want to talk about it?" Josie shot back. Never one to answer a simple question.

I sighed, burying my face in her hair. "I never want to talk about it, but lately it seems like that's the only thing that I'm doing."

She nodded, understanding what I was trying to say without any further explanation. My hand covered hers against my cheek and I was still shocked by just how warm she was. All the time. She radiated heat, and I wanted to remember the exact way her hand felt in mine.

What was I supposed to do when I couldn't feel it everyday? How had I ever survived it?

"I have no good words to say," she admitted, "nothing except everything just seems so unfair. For you. For Danny. Your whole family. But that's dumb because, I guess, life is always unfair."

"You know," I mused aloud, "I actually think life itself is pretty fair. Simply because it's unfair to all of us in one way or another."

She groaned, hiding her face into my chest.

"Great. So I really really have no good words to say."

I chuckled a little, pulling back to find her disgruntled expression. My lips pressed against hers softly once. Twice. It was still a marvel that she allowed me the privilege of kissing her, but she still hadn't wised up yet apparently.

"How about 'I love you?'"

She rolled her eyes. "I do love you."

"Those are good words. Some would say even the best words."

"Right. But..."

Her voice trailed off and I watched her expression change into something more confused. She was holding back from me, something that was weighing on her.

"Josie, tell me." I ran a thumb over her cheek.

"Nothing. I— there's nothing. How was practice? Did you tell the whole team yet? Winston said that you were going to try today but—"

"Josephine Troutman, please don't make me ask again." I ran my thumb over her bottom lip.

She tilted her head. "Technically, you didn't ask the first time. So."

"Alright, smart ass," I chuckled. "You're not going to distract me. You've got something to say and I want to hear it."

I want to hear all of it no matter what it is. Every day. For the rest of my life.

"Am I losing you?" She sucked in a breath. "When you leave, are you... um, are we going to— will it be over between us?"

Something cracked in my chest, so forcefully that I wondered how the sound of it didn't echo off the walls. Her words kicked me right in the gut and I sat up in her bed, the blanket wrapped around my waist. Slowly, she followed suit and sat up to meet my eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak but she was already trying to explain.

"I'm not going to ask you to make a choice. Not ever. But I want you to know that I'll give you what you need, whatever that might be."