nineteen

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// nineteen //

Adrenaline was searing through Ella's veins like wildfire.

It was Wednesday, 2:07 a.m. Ryan had picked her up at the end of her road ten minutes ago, and they were well into the hour drive to the gas station, but Ella still felt on the verge of bursting from nerves. She had snuck out of her house by crawling stealthily out her bedroom window, then scaling down the netted patio siding and landing somewhat shakily on the slippery driveway below. She had nearly kicked in the living room window with her heel when she'd jumped, and her hands were still trembling from the close call.

Ryan had scarcely said two words to Ella since he'd picked her up; he had only asked how she was feeling once they'd driven off and left her street behind. Ella had lied and told him she felt fine, and now the two of them had been sat in silence for fifteen minutes. The quiet was only making Ella's stomach twist in a worsened anxiety.

Ella glanced up at the rearview mirror for the tenth time, seeing the black duffel bag lying against the backseat. She wanted to ask Ryan what was in it, but his hands were clutched so tightly around the steering wheel that his knuckles had been bleached white and Ella was too nervous to break the silence. His shoulders were raised, bunched up in high-strung tension almost to his ears. When they passed under the green glow of a traffic light, it was clear his face was incredibly pale.

She wondered if Ryan had been this nervous the first time he had robbed a gas station – or if he was only this anxious because Ella was coming, too.

Since Ella was too scared to say anything, the next half hour went by with nothing but an apprehensive silence. When they passed over the line into the next state, Ryan shifted in the driver's seat and cleared his throat.

"Sure you're doing alright?"

Ella looked down at her lap, her hands twisted almost painfully together as they rested against the black denim of her jeans. She told him, "Yeah. I'm good. You?"

"Fine." His voice was tight, reminding Ella of violin strings that had been stretched and tuned too far. "Doing fine. We'll be there in fifteen minutes."

The surface of Ella's tongue felt like sandpaper. She swallowed hard and winced slightly, hoping the anxious motion would go unnoticed by Ryan in this darkness. If he had seen, he decided not to bring it up; instead, Ryan continued quietly, "I'll park about ten feet from the entrance. There are some trees next to the parking lot that should cover the truck from the cameras."

Ella was worried that her voice would shake if she spoke, so she decided to just nod. She had worn completely black clothes and pulled her hair up into a bun, but the elastic suddenly felt too tight and it was as though her head was going to split open. Tiny shards of regret were starting to burrow their way into Ella's chest, cold and sharp and biting against her ribs. She was beginning to wonder if she really had the guts to go through with this.

But it was too late for Ella to consider backing out. The minutes had disappeared right from under her nose, the green digital numbers of the radio's clock changing more rapidly than Ella would have liked. Well before Ella was ready, the distant glow of the gas station's lights began to appear through the darkness of the woods.

            The truck's rubber tires bumped over rough pieces of gravel as Ryan pulled to a gentle stop at the side of the road, just twenty feet back from where the mismatched rows of trees ended. There was dark, slightly ominous forest on either side of the empty road, only broken by a weathered side road five feet on their left, and Ella shivered slightly. Ryan switched off the headlights, but he left the engine running.

            He reached between their seats and grabbed the duffel bag, dropping it onto his lap. He pulled the black handkerchief from inside, and just before he zipped the bag halfway shut, Ella barely caught sight of the dull silver shine of a baseball bat within its depths. She wondered if Ryan had brought the fake gun like he had the last time he'd done this, but she decided against asking - besides, Ella knew what the answer would be.

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