despondency

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So yeah. By now I'm around half way through year 8. I had a boyfriend and I was on the verge of having some friends. Since I had begun dating Brendan I had begun hanging around him a bit. Turns out him and Caitlyn had a couple of mutual friends. Who knew?! One of these mutual friends happened to be a girl in my pe class. We didn't exactly have somewhere we were supposed to get changed but it's almost a silent agreement that you stuck to the place you picked in the first lesson. I had decided to go next to Lena. It just so happened that on the peg next to me was said mutual friend of my friend and boyfriend. Her name was Eva but for some reason everyone, including her family, called her Daisy. She seemed nice enough. Something that caught my eye was her bag. It had a picture of Himiko Toga from the Anime My Hero Academia. It made me wonder what the girl was like. She was what I suppose you'd call a friend crush. Someone you really wanted to be friends with. 

Out of everything I had thought would maybe start a conversation it wasn't this. Lena had happened to mention non uniform day and she began saying how funny it would be if I came into school wearing cosplay because that was something I did quite a bit at the time. I still cosplay a bit but only when I'm going to cons and that only happens once maybe twice a year. This conversation had caught Daisy's attention. 

"Do you cosplay?" She asked me hesitantly. I nodded not paying much mind to the question. My hobby tended to draw a lot of attention when brought up to new people as it isn't really a thing your everyday teenager does. Not expecting much to happen after answering the girl I turned back to Lena. To my surprise she carried on.

"Wait really?! Me too!" I was shocked. I mean yeah I'd seen other cosplayers but that was online and they'd all been american. To find out that not only was someone my age a cosplayer but someone in my year! I was beyond excited to hear this and immediately began talking with my new found friend. We talked the entire way through pe and walked out to lunch together too. I had somewhat hoped the conversation would continue but it didn't. She spotted her friends, including Brendan and walked away not even saying bye. Bit rude if you ask me. Although I was a bit disappointed I decided not to pay it much mind. I headed on down towards Caitlyn who had now become my closest friend. 

After a whole ten minutes of thinking and begging Caitlyn for answers of what I should do I decided to go over to my boyfriend. I had planned to do this anyway but after realising I knew none of his friends except for Daisy and this other boy called Jacob who I happened to sit next to in form I chickened out. I mean I'd spoken to a few of them in passing or in shared classes or extra activities but not well. Caitlyn simply kicked me in the shin and told me to stop being such a pussy and just go over there. Thinking back now I can just picture her face of absolute annoyance about how stupid I was. Honestly I'm surprised she stuck with me that long. 

I walked up nervously and very very awkwardly said hi. No joke, literally everyone paused and stared at me. This one kid with semi long hair decided to point at me and ask "Who the fuck is that" as if I wasn't right there. That was when I decided my boyfriends friends were stupid. I mean it's not like this guy hadn't met me before. I had intervention at the school during some lessons to help with my impending mental issues and this guy literally sat next to me during them. We'd even had several conversations. I just stared back blankly. 

Brendan looked at his friends and back at me realising he hadn't exactly introduced us. Before he could say anything the same kid began their conversation again as if I hadn't just walked up to them all. What the actual fuck was wrong with this guy? Turns out they had been talking about me. Not knowingly, other than Jacob apparently, who seemed extremely uninterested in the conversation. Don't blame the guy. The long haired weirdo was all up in Brendan's face asking him how on earth he managed to get a girlfriend. He then began to say how he'd never heard of an Anya in our year and he wondered what class I was in. Like I said, this guy was an idiot.