Strike the Past

Chapter 7 - Anakin

Author's Note: This is the final chapter! I hope y'all enjoy, and many thanks to everyone who was a part of this journey! :D I always cherish hearing your thoughts. ^-^

~ Amina Gila

Vader never knew he could feel this... whole again. Feeling empty and alone was a ceaseless part of his life, until.... Only days ago. And suddenly, everyone in his once family who are still alive are back here again. He hasn't felt this much not like Vader since the start.

He's not who he was as Anakin, but especially now that his body is the way it used to be – he thought that could never happen again, that he'd be trapped in ceaseless agony forever but now, even if his limbs will be forever metal, he... he can feel again. It doesn't hurt like before – he feels more like Anakin than he has in a long time.

Even if it doesn't change what he's done. But it didn't change what Abeloth did either, and giving her a chance to be better felt strangely freeing.

Besides, she'd already died once gruesomely for what she did before, though she still brought herself back. And now, she... hasn't done that much.

And he... slept. He doesn't remember the last time he was able to do that. Though he was almost surprised he was even able to fall asleep with Obi-Wan so close. He must have been far more exhausted than realized.

"We need to figure out what we're gonna do now," Ahsoka says, once they pull apart, "Unless you'd like to eat first."

Eat.

Right.

That... he hasn't done so in years, even if he sometimes craved it unimaginably. The thought that he could do that now, that he could do everything he once did, is nearly enough to make him cry. It's – he can't believe he's free of that.

It's still his destiny to balance the Force, Qui-Gon had said. Seeing him again, knowing that he was still there after everything – despite everything he's done – was... oddly relieving. Once, Anakin had always reached for Qui-Gon when reaching into the Force. He sensed him, but never realized why, that he could still appear in a tangible form. After becoming Vader, he... hadn't been able to feel anything but darkness. (Couldn't well reach for Qui-Gon when he destroyed what the Jedi Master had brought him to be in the first place.) But he's still there and that helps.

"We can eat later," Vader – Anakin? – settles for finally when he hears Mill and Obi-Wan approaching. He... would rather have a private moment to eat alone, anyway, when he's hardly sure how his body will react to it after so long.

"You... look better," Obi-Wan notes, crossing his arms.

Something tightens inside of him, at the sound of the voice. And the words, given it's because of him that Vader needed this much healing in the first place.

Obi-Wan apologized several times, though, and he has no idea what to think of that. His former master never does that. He just doesn't. Unless he truly believed he was wrong in what he did, and that...

Vader only nods in response, unsure what to say.

For a moment, everyone just looks at each other. He doesn't think any of them know where to start. They were talking because of the mission. That doesn't mean they know how to talk to each other anymore.

If they ever did.

"What are you intending to do now?" Obi-Wan asks finally, eyeing him.

Vader tries to keep himself from tensing – in some ways, having a mask was easier. He could feel... freer. No one could see his face. The hood doesn't conceal him nearly as well. And the answer to the question is complicated, as is. Because he has no idea.