One Time Thing || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 5

He wakes about an hour later with Lucy in his arms, and for a moment he relishes in the comfort of this — the warmth of her curves pressing against him, skin to skin.

She is stunning in her sleep, dark waves of her hair fanning wildly around her face, long lashes resting on her cheeks, full lips relaxed into a perfect pout.

How is he ever going to look at those lips again and think of anything but kissing her?

He sucks in a breath, the familiar scent of her shampoo invading his nostrils.

How is he ever going to smell her shampoo again and think of anything but her here, sharing his bed with him?

This is far and away one of the most questionable things he's ever done, second only to looking the other way when he knew Isabel was struggling with her addiction. And yet, something about this — having this beautiful, infuriating woman wrapped in his arms feels inexplicably right.

How is he ever going to be with her again and think of anything but how much he wants this — all of this — all of the time?

He knows he probably shouldn't, that the expiration on this one time thing is very nearly past due, but he brushes his lips over her shoulder anyway.

She shifts sleepily, turning to face him. "Tim?" she mumbles without opening her eyes.

"Hmm?"

She nuzzles her face into his chest, taking her time to wake up before finally tilting her head back, eyes slowly blinking open so she can see him, "Mmm... I was.... There was something I wanted to ask you. Something I was wondering about, and I know you said you didn't want to talk about it but..."

He stiffens, unsure of where she is headed.

She seems to take his silence as permission to continue.

"That night — when I confronted you about the drugs — you had already decided to do the right thing, hadn't you?"

The question catches him off guard, and he simply nods. And it's true that, yes, he'd made up his mind right then and there in Isabel's apartment. And also true that he'd been extremely aggravated by Lucy overstepping in the moment.

He also recalls the bit of gratitude he'd felt toward his meddling boot for having been there to give him the exact validation he'd needed at the exact right moment. That night could have easily gone a completely different way, and she was a major part of the reason it hadn't.

Her lips curve. "I knew it," she says softly, her eyes glimmering with some combination of things he can't quite place — Pride? Approval? Appreciation? Something else entirely?

And despite himself, he can feel a warmth spreading outward from his core. The fact that this incredible woman, who has known him for only a few short months, who objectively should hate him for what he's put her through, believes in him so unconditionally... It's making him feel things he hasn't felt in a very long time, maybe that he hasn't felt ever.

He tips his head down and brushes his lips against hers, gently increasing the pressure when her lips part for him. He lifts his hand to cradle her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek as he loses himself in her. And this time the kiss isn't rough or passionate or lustful. It's sweet and tender and full of unspoken emotion.

"Mmm," Lucy hums against his mouth, sleepily tilting her head back to return the kiss before cuddling closer into him when they finally break apart.

"Tim?" she asks again after a few moments, cheek resting against his chest as her hand idly trails over the scar from his recently healed gunshot wound.

He can feel his lips twitch; she certainly is a talker. But he's very quickly realizing how much he wants to hear what she has to say. "Yeah?"

"You know what's weird?"

He waits patiently for her to continue, skimming his hand down her back and settling it just above the curve of her ass. He rubs his thumb gently back and forth over the sensitive skin.

"Mmm, never mind. It's dumb." She shakes her head slightly against his chest, clearly having talked herself out of whatever she was going to say.

Tim brushes a curl off of her shoulder. "It's not. Tell me, Lucy."

She seems surprised by his encouragement, his unexpected softness toward her. "I just ... I don't know. You make me feel really safe, Tim."

His heart swells at her words and ah shit — this is not good. This is a one time thing — he cannot be feeling all of these confusing things toward this ridiculously attractive woman who also happens to be his boot. Definitely not for the next ten months. And probably not ever.

But he still finds himself asking, "Why is that weird?"

She lifts her head so that she can see his eyes, and arches an eyebrow as if to say, do I really need to remind you of all the times you've intentionally gone out of your way to make me feel unsafe since we met?

He clears his throat, "Right. Never mind. Don't answer that..."

He sighs, feeling like he owes her more of an explanation, an apology even, but he's already far too close to letting all of his walls down, too close to letting this woman see more parts of himself that he hasn't let anyone see in a very long time.

So he settles for something in between. "Look — I can't promise I'm never going to put you in situations where you don't feel safe; it's part of the job. But I know I crossed the line before. It won't happen again." He pauses before admitting, "And I want you to..."

She shifts to look at him again.

"Feel safe with me," he finishes.

She nods, and he somehow knows he doesn't need to spell it out, that she understands that he wants her to know she is safe with him, here right now and also when they go back to work as rookie and TO. She will be safe with him there, too. He has no intention of going easy on her, but he is done making reckless decisions, done letting his personal life affect her training.

Or at least he will be after this massive fuck up. He's going to be the TO she deserves; he owes her that much.

And though all of this has objectively been a terrible decision, somehow that little bit of an exchange is enough to make him feel okay about it. Because for some reason he can't fully understand, it's very important to him that she feels safe and beautiful and cared for. And if he has somehow given that to her, even for just one night, well then maybe that makes it all worth it.

She presses a kiss to his shoulder before propping herself up on her elbow so that she is looking down at him, her fingertips slowly trailing down his abdomen. She cocks her head, a teasing glint in her eyes as her lips curve into an innocent smile, "Did you want to go again, sir?"

Jesus. He is in deep shit. Of that he is absolutely certain.