Just breathe - Caitlin Foord

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Everything hurt. I had been pushing myself to the limit every single day in preparation for this next game.

Ever since being selected into the matilda's for the world cup, i've been so worried about letting everyone down - letting my team down, my country, my family, and my best friend Caitlin.

Cait always knew when something was wrong with me so i've been keeping my distance. It's been extremely difficult.

The only thing in the world i love more that soccer is Caitlin.

From the very first day i met her in high school in my home-room i knew that we were made for each other.

We were sat next to each other in a seating plan for english too. Back then she had only just moved to my school so she hadn't made many friends yet.

With the love that we both shared for soccer, we quickly became friends, constantly playing 1v1 with each other at recess and lunch.

After we both finished school we quickly both realised that we could make soccer into a career and always stayed at the same clubs together.

Caitlin has always been able to read me like a book which is exactly why i'm trying to avoid her.

Unfortunately that all went to shit as soon as she taps my shoulder in the change rooms before our game.

"hey you alright? i feel like i haven't seen you in days?" her quiet voice asks trying not to draw attention.

"huh?" i reply only just realising she was talking to me.

"seriously dude what's wrong, you've been avoiding me for days." she asks slightly annoyed

"nothing- i've just been busy" i reply looking down.

As Cait opens her mouth to speak she quickly gets cut off by our physio, Jack.

"y/n i'm ready to tape you're ankles if you are?" he says.

"yep coming now" i reply ignoring the stare from caitlin.

"we'll talk later Caity." i say before following the physio out of the change rooms.

****
"so are you ready for a big game" Jack asks while taping my left ankle.

"yea i suppose" i reply while scrolling through instagram.

"are you nervous?" he asks

"a little bit" i reply putting my phone down.

"i would be if i was you" jack says while moving onto the right ankle.

"whys that?" i ask curiously

"well you weren't an expected pick for the team, it was a risky choice- no offence of course." he says continuing to tape.

Hearing the words that i'd been thinking for the past few months actually being said, hurt like a fucking bitch. It didn't just hurt, it just about shattered my heart.

"oh" was all i could reply with.

trying to fight back tears became harder and harder.

"i didn't mean it in a rude way like i just don't think you're ready" he says scoffing as if i was in the wrong.

"it's just a very beloved team and if you make them loose then the whole country will be let down." he says shrugging

"anyways all done. just try your best okay?" he finishes.

"will do. thanks." i reply quietly before running out of there.

i was speed walking down the halls while tears roll down my cheeks just trying to get out of here

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