Our Mother the Mountain

13. Let You Down

Chapter Text

If Ethan thought the route across the mountain, or sight of the Witch's Lake, or anticipation of the act of transferring hundreds of dead souls to his own form-removing the shards of death from the quiet lake-would bring a soul-moving, strong epiphany, he was mistaken. The grey-blue water almost glowed in the moonlight, and though he knew he didn't have to move into the lake to take on this task, he did it anyway. It simply felt right.

As before, it didn't even feel like water. It brushed past him like slightly heavier air. Even though he felt pretty dead on the inside, as the rain poured down on him and the shards crackled underneath his shoes as he waded farther in, Ethan still found half a sardonic smile possible when showers of golden sparks lit up the water like magic, as he called those energies-lack of energies? Broken pieces of energies, toward him. It was beautiful. His powers were, in some ways, wonderful to behold.

There was also no epiphany when every last piece of energy transferred its way into his form. He simply felt cold, tired, and full of pain. Was it physical or emotional? It was all the same at this point. Ethan bore the weight of the village's loss on his back literally at the moment, and it was suffocating. This feat would not have been possible without the Black God, he knew. But Ethan doubted even the creature's ability to change form with such a strange, painful, piercing sensation.

He paused before he turned away, staring out at the forest beyond the small pond. For some reason it reminded him of Dulvey. As he gave it one more glance, Ethan understood what he'd come here to learn. He remembered a sentence he'd written long ago in one of his journals. It was the day of Mia's "funeral"...the day her parents had decided it was time to move on. He'd refused to go, which put a wedge in their relationship with him, but Ethan couldn't bear that goodbye either. Still, a large part of him had feared. It was the same fear he had now. And he'd tried, in vain, to pour his heart out across the page. Nothing. Only a sentence, and that itself took nearly an hour to pen.

The entry had read simply, Knowing you loved me is enough.

As he had the first time he entered the lake, Ethan's eyes welled with tears. This time, however, it didn't feel as though he were disturbing something evil when they dropped into the water along with the rain. It felt like a pond. A quiet pond in the rain. The water became more...water-like, lapping at his thighs. That was the first time he'd heard noise from this area. Wind stirred the leaves for the first time; the trees seemed to stretch out, catch the breeze. Even the fog began to move.

His lips were freezing. Ethan marveled at the transformation for several more minutes. When he finally turned to go, hugging his own arms to his chest, Ethan kept his eyes down. Every step was painful. It reminded him of the sensation he'd felt after Miranda pulled his heart out. Cold, stiff, freezing. For a moment he doubted the Black God's strength–could he carry all of this back to the Megamycete after all?

The creature didn't answer his doubts, and so he focused on simply taking steps. Ethan's eyes were still down until he heard the familiar creak of the wagon that waited on the road. He glanced up, knowing who he would see.

The Duke had affixed a canvas canopy over the front of his wagon, which shielded him from at least some of the rain. He waved the blond over with a smile, and Ethan stepped toward the carriage without much hesitation.

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Ethan remembered the meeting with Miranda when he'd descended to the canyon harboring the Megamycete weeks earlier.

"I will exchange his crystal for the one you currently have. His brother is very useful to me. I have spent a lifetime curating his mind into the obedient son that his twin was not....He is non-negotiable."