From Christianity To Spiritual & Poly (ON HOLD)

20.

"I realized I don't have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of my life."

-Kerry Washington

The ride to the hospital was long, yet quiet. I didn't bother telling anyone where I was going. By anyone, I didn't feel the need to update Jaden, Korrie, Esau or Luna. I have yet to speak to anyone other than Kamie anyways.

There was about 99% of me that told me not to show up to the hospital. However, that 1% said at the end of the day, that is my mother in there fighting for her life. She may not be happy with me, but she did give life to me. I don't have to always treat her the way she treats me.

I'm not sure how this visit is going to go, but I am determined to try my best to keep calm and kill everyone with kindness. Long as everyone keeps their personal ill feelings out of this, everything should be fine, at least that's what I am hoping and praying for.

Soon as I parked, I texted Kamie and told her I made it. I was almost tempted to call Josiah, but I still don't feel led to give any of them my number. They can only contact me via Facebook messenger.

I messaged him on Facebook messenger asking where they are. He told me which floor and lobby to go to.

I had made it to the lobby and was instantly greeted by Josiah. "Sis, you made it. Mom is still in surgery."

"Thank you for calling me." I smiled.

Dad stood up and rushed to my side. "Baby girl. I'm so glad you are here. This means a lot to me." He smiled as he hugged me again. "You look beautiful and healthy."

"Thank you." I'm really not sure what to say to them. Honestly, this whole moment just feels awkward to even be here, and truthfully, that's sad. I should never feel awkward around my family.

My little sister Nineveh and I locked eyes, but neither of us said a word. Which was fine by me.

"Hey sis." Nehemiah said as he and I shared a hug.

"Hey."

"Come, sit down with us." Dad said.

I sat down and instantly pulled my phone out and started scrolling on social media. I wasn't sure what to say to any of them. I was just here to figure out what's going on, as well as, when I'll be able to leave. Being in the room with my "family" is triggering a lot of emotions that I have not healed from.

"She was hit by a drunk driver. A young pregnant teenager that was dealing with depression, hit your mother. She survived, but they said they had to deliver the baby that was stillborn. I hate that for her." Dad said.

"Dang, that's awful." All I could do was shake my head. Underage drinking, pregnant, depression, stillborn baby and now having to hope and pray my mom survives this, if not, that's an added charge for the teen.

"We are trusting and believing God to heal and restore your mother. We know that by His strips we are healed." Dad continued.

"In case you didn't know, he just quoted a scripture." Nineveh said.

"Thank you for the reminder my dear sister." I smirked not even wanting to do this arguing with her today.

"I don't wish karma on anyone, but I do believe that young teenager should serve some time for the crime she committed. She shouldn't have been drinking and definitely not driving. I know depression is tough, but my wife is fighting for her life. She's been in surgery for a few hours now. I just want some type of answers. I need God to work a miracle and do what only He can do."