The love I am missing

part 4

What! What are you saying, Shiva is creating a scene again , what is wrong with him , I have to end this drama today anyhow, I am coming...
Where is he ? "Mam, in your office, he is waiting for you , he said he will not go until you don't meet him", Madhav informed me. "What were you thinking ? Do you know how cruel you are ? You have beaten him so harshly that he has to be admitted in hospital and I don't know when he will get discharge . May I know your reasons for doing this or you are like this from beginning", I told him what was in my mind. He replied with same passionate voice "Oh, I think you have already made your mind , I thought you understand me but you don't, I thought you love me as much as I do . But I was wrong , wasting my time on you. I think I should move on because you are the reason that I have beaten him so harshly, and you are still caring about him and not me. And went  outside  the office with thud voice of door".
                                                           "What is he talking about?" I asked from Madhav . "Mam, I don't know but I heard from the crowd that the person who was hospitalized wanted to kill you and Shiva got informed about his activities through the spy ",he replied. "But why he wanted to kill me", I asked again. He said " Mam I don't know but I can guess it, since the day you have joined the office you are doing so many things against human trafficking, drugs dealing, etc so he might be one of those rival". " But you know na, this is my duty and I will be happy when I will die whil...e "(I was saying....but words got cut by (kiss)).
(I was shocked,  I pushed him). "I am sorry mam but I couldn't hold it anymore,I know my timing is wrong but I really love you and I think Shiva did right thing, that person deserves that shit" he said it with proud gesture.
                                         After the kiss , my whole mind was still unconscious and was not knowing what to do , what to say, should I punish him, and suddenly clapping sound was being heard by me and the person who was clapping was none other than Shiva. He got more angry and ran away again . I ran after him ,I was not knowing what I am doing. Finally I stopped him by holding his hand and said I am sorry for what I told you and thank you for saving me . He separated my hand from his and said " So you wanted to tell me thank you and sorry , do you think these things really matter for me ". I said " I am sorry I don't know what to say but I am thankful to you ". "Ok , tell me ,Do you love Madhav ?" he asked.  I answered " I don't know ". "Then marry him otherwise you will be left alone with no one to care about you" he said and walked away .
                                                           But I am afraid what if I fail in marriage ...........
                                                            I am afraid to loose you , I really love you Shiva.
                                                             Why marriage is so important for you , can't you just love me.
                                                             I promise, I will love you more than you do.........