Duskwood One Shot Collection

Begin Again

It's Jake's first day at his new job. His nerves are getting the best of him, but MC knows just what to say and do to get him out of his head. A new beginning, the promise of peace and safety gives Jake the strength to face it head on.
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Jake

His inner critic was very loud that morning. It was desperately trying to save him from making mistakes, but all it gave him was anxiety, doubt, and misplaced shame. The man looking back at him in the mirror was not the one he was accustomed to. Gaunt, grey and terrified was how he used to look. A specter in human skin who lived in the shadows. Now, a glaze to his eyes spoke of a kinder life and peace, but the harsh line of his tensed jaw and the frown between his brows gave away his fear. He could hear her padding around the kitchen as he finished brushing his teeth and rinsed his mouth, ensuring his hair wasn't too unkempt before he left the sanctuary of the bathroom to gather his things. Today was no ordinary day. He was starting his new job, the first in five years and one he was semi-confident he would excel at, but his social battery worried him. Would it hold enough charge for an eight-hour workday? He wasn't entirely sure.

She insisted he spend the night so she could see him off on his first day, and she woke him with his preferred black coffee and two slices of buttered toast. His stomach was a nest of snakes, and she seemed to know he couldn't stomach anything else. It had settled him somewhat, and her tender, loving touches and smiles helped more. Still, there was a definite tremble in his hands as he packed the forms he had filled in with his shiny new bank details and hunted for his favorite pen, which he found tucked behind her ear as she entered the bedroom to see how he was getting on. She gave it to him with a sheepish smile, and he chuckled at the pink flush on her cheeks.

"You look like a professional." She teased, eyeing his freshly pressed shirt and black trousers.

"I don't think they'd appreciate me turning up in a hoodie and jeans," He said.

"Hmm, they don't know what they're missing." She laughed but quickly stopped as she sensed the tension in him.

"Hey, are you okay? You look like you're about to be sick."

Jake swallowed hard, head shaking as he drew in a tight breath, "I'm... terrified. What if I fuck it up? What if they find out what I did? What if-"

"Jake. Breathe," Her hands were on his shoulders as she looked him in the eye, "Let's try something different. What if none of that happens, and you love it? What if this is what you need to finally feel safe? You won't know for sure until you're there. Don't ruin it before you get started."

He knew she was right, but there was an iron band around his chest and a dead weight in his feet that kept him rooted to the floor. He didn't want to let her down. Wanted to build a life with her, and to do it, he needed a job, and he was very aware of all the ways it could go wrong. Taking a steadying breath, he shook out his tingling hands and nodded, hoping he looked braver than he felt.

"I just hate being scared of everything. It makes me feel useless, weak," He admitted in a whisper, watching as her brows furrowed. That spark ignited in her eyes, the one that always appeared when he was being too hard on himself.

"I'd be more concerned if you weren't anxious or nervous. It's normal to be afraid of something new, especially after what you went through. But Jake, the only time you can ever be brave is when you're afraid. It doesn't make you useless. It makes you strong and courageous because you'll do it in spite of your fear."

There was nothing but stolid belief and conviction in her tone as she stared up at him, a soft smile on her plush mouth, and he knew she was right and he would adapt like he always did.