𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 ❥ 𝒂 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒌𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚

𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒆

july 4, 2023

augustine

July 4th had been a weird holiday since I came out. I mean it was always weird, my parents are immigrants so we never really had big celebrations, but it had been weirder since I came out. In the four years since I came out as bi, it seemed as if all of the LGBTQ community's rights were stripped away by the government. I didn't seem right celebrating our racist, sexist, homophobic country. However, I liked the parties, and the fireworks were always fun.

James and I hung out every day after that game of mini golf. There were a few instances where it felt like we were really getting somewhere; like you could see sparks fly. The Fourth of July was my chance, my chance to finally break out of my blanket of fear and make a move.

We sat on the dock and watched the sun rise over the horizon. I always liked our 5 am bike rides, but this one felt different. The sky was gold and shimmery and everything felt so perfect. As I kicked my feet above the water, I stared into the side of Jame's coffee eyes as he stared at the sky as if it was the prettiest thing in the world. I wondered what he was thinking as his eyes focused on the clouds.

I sipped on my mocha and leaned back against my bag. "I wish the sky always like this. Pink and gold and perfect. I think it would make everyone happier."

James laughed to himself and muttered, nothing gold can stay.

"Hmm?"

"Y'know... from The Outsiders?"

I shook my head. I had to read the book in 8th grade but i wasn't much of a reader so I used Sparknotes for most of it.

"Oh, well, there's this scene where the two main characters are watching a sunrise and Ponyboy recites this really beautiful Robert Frost poem," He explained, "Betty loves that book, she read it like 20 times and—" He stopped.

I sighed, "Stop thinking about her, she's not here. You're better off without her, you know that. You guys broke up, just... please. I don't like to see you hurt." I really did hate seeing him like that, constantly upset over a girl who clearly didn't want him. If she wanted him she wouldn't texted by now.

He stared into my eyes and they glistened in a way I had never seen before. Not like John's did when he would look at me, not filled with force and power but filled with passion and understanding.

"You know, I've never met anyone like you, Augustine... not even—" Before I could even think, my lips were on his. I couldn't bear to hear him say her name again, I think I'd start to cry and never stop. His lips were warm and he didn't pull away. It felt right, like this was meant to be. I pushed harder into the kiss and that's when he pulled away. Every thought in my mind shattered as I stared at him, standing in the warm light of the new day. I don't even remember him standing up.

"James—" I began.

"I'm so sorry," He started pacing around the dock, mumbling things about Betty and how they had never broken up. But they had, right? He said they had. I stood up and he stopped as he locked eyes with me. He said something along the lines of screw it, grabbed my face and pulled it into his. As our lips touched again the world around us melted away. Nothing mattered except for him and me. Not Betty, not my siblings or his cousins or our parents or anyone else; just us. It felt like everything had just fallen into place; like everything I had ever been through no longer mattered because of that kiss, because it was real. I wasn't prepared for it to feel like that. Sure for years in middle school, I dreamed of it, but that was middle school, those were dreams. This was the real world, it meant something. And it felt so right. Our lips belongs together, our bodies belonged next to each other, my fingers belonged  intertwined with his. I could only dream of where this could go.

I pulled slightly away and looked in to his caramel eyes, grinning like a little kid. He didn't smile back, but there was a look in his eyes that told me he was happy. I didn't know what to say so I just kissed him again. And he kissed me. And we kept kissing, sloppy yet strong kisses until he saw something or someone out of the corner of his eye and stopped.

"Uh... let's to my place, we can go for a swim," He offered and he walked me back to our bikes. I was confused but I followed him silently as we biked back.

༻ 𓆉 ༺

july 9, 2023

betty

I sipped on my iced mocha as I sat on a sticky leather armchair in the corner of the Starbucks. My leg shook up and down as I stared at the picture on my phone. Inez's text from the day before had caught me off guard and I couldn't just ignore it, so there I was waiting very impatiently as she stood in line to order her latte. That picture of James and that girl... how could he. It was one fight and apparently that had meant it was okay for him to cheat... with some random girl he met two weeks ago.

Inez sat down across from me. "Betty, I'm so sorry you had to find out like this, but I thought you should know." That's what set Inez apart from the rest of her friends. She was actually kind of considerate. Sure, she liked to spread rumors but if she knew it was true and someone needed to know about it, she usually told them. Besides, we we're old friends, we were on good terms, we had just drifted apart. "Este was down in the Outer Banks for the week of 4th of July and went on an early morning run, y'know? She like went her normal route and as she passed this dock she saw James like pull this girl into a like powerful, sexy kiss... damn I wouldn't someone to do that to me— sorry."

"Do you know her name?" That's all I wanted to know. I didn't need to know anything else, I just wanted to know what was so much better about her.

"I can find out, you sure you want to know?"

"Yeah, I do," I sighed, standing up as I got ready to leave, "Um- thanks Iz, keep in touch, please." I walked towards the door and threw my coffee in the silver trash an nest to it; I had lost my appetite.

dear reader

hey, it's em. damn i got this out quicker than I expected. please comment and interact I am begging you. Love you all.

<3,
em