Together in the Moonlight (Chizuru Ichinose x Reader)

(6) Troubles of the Mind

Y/n's POV:

Over the next day, recording at our first new site finally took place. The director had reserved rooms for each of us at a hotel, where we had to vacate to for the entirety of our time there.

This time, Chizuru and I were not situated next to each other; I was on a completely different floor, to my disappointment.

Recording started and straight away, Chizuru made a plethora of mistakes. Eventually, the director called the day off, which almost brought the girl to tears. She once again apologized, to which the director just shrugged it off, telling her she's relieved of her duties today and can leave. She slowly walks away with her head down, but still focusing on the road ahead of her.

She seemed to still be a little dizzy - that's what a hangover can do to a person, especially if they don't drink. I ask the director if I can help her back as she doesn't look too well. Reluctantly, he agrees it to be for the best, so I quickly leave.

Chizuru: "Wh-Why are you here?" She says semi-sternly.

Y/n: "I'm here to help you get back. You know, you shouldn't have drank so much yesterday." I say, shyly after our last time we spent together.

You know what? It doesn't matter if she admitted her feelings to me since she was drunk. I want to hear it properly before I jump into a relationship... I thought as she holds onto my arm, trying not to stumble over.

Chizuru: "I know... I'm struggling to remember much about the last night. What happened?" She asks.

Hmm... what do I say? I guess I'll just be truthful, it's not gone wrong for me yet. I thought, quickly replying after:

Y/n: "Well, I helped you back to your room after the 'games', we talked for a bit and you said... something along the lines of 'loving me and it hurting you'. I say quietly, summarising last night's events.

At the sheer mention of her feelings being revealed, she turns red and falls away from me. She stands on her own for a while, shaking. I begin to get worried and approach her, to which she backs away, speaking up:

Chizuru: "Listen, what I said last night wasn't true, alright!! I was drunk, of course I'd say stupid things like that." She shouts as she berates me the whole walk back to her room.

She looks away from me the entire walk back and refuses to interact with me when we get to the door of her hotel room. As she unlocks her door, I make a risky move, telling her my own feelings despite now believing that she really didn't love me back:

Y/n: "Well, it's a shame I guess, because if it were true, I'd have gotten the chance to say 'I love you' back... Anyways, have a good rest, okay? We need you back at your best." I say calmly, leaving the apartment.

A few seconds after I walk away, I hear the door lock from the inside. At least she heard it this time.

I make it back to the site, where I see out my duties for the rest of the day. We were able to get two scenes (those that didn't involve Chizuru) finished and then we all parted ways. I went into my room, lying down and thinking about, well, I think you could guess at this point.

If by chance she does actually love me and itbothers her that we could be separated again, I should've told her that I'll make sure it doesn't happen. No matter, her memory will eventually return. I think to myself as I make a few notes on my final book.

That's right, I'm in the middle of one last book and once that's done, I can just go on extended hiatus, only coming back to write if I need to for any reason. Sure I love doing it, and it's been a passion of mine forever, but now that dream has been conquered and now I'd just like to slow things down and live a happy life, preferably with a certain woman but that remains to happen.

Many hours pass and the night eventually arrives. As I'm getting ready to go to sleep, I receive a message:

Chizuru: [Hey, I'd like to talk to you this weekend. Can you come to my apartment at **:**]

I read the message, hoping that it's about her feelings towards me. Welp, this is it...

Y/n: [Of course. Have a good night]

I then debate on typing one last thing to her, wrestling with the pros and cons of doing so. Eventually, the result is as follows:

Y/n: [I love you]

However, the nervousness of sending the text stops me from going to sleep as quickly, leaving me up for at least another hour. Thankfully, I manage to take my mind off of it, almost meditating. At the end, my mind is clear and I am left with the only possible way forward:

I'll face her response head on, and whatever it is, I'll simply have to live with it.