Not Today but Forever

Butterflies

Nathan started to drive me home but the ride was silent.

I was looking out the window as we passed trees and Nathan was too focused on the road once again.

"Can we turn on some music or something or have a conversation? I feel like you keep thinking of it." I groan and look at Nathan.

Nathan side eyes me and chuckles a bit. "What are you even talking about?"

I narrow my eyes at Nathan then smile. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." I roll my eyes playfully and turn on the radio playing the song "Sarah" by Alex G.

"Did you really mean what you said?" Nathan suddenly mumbles softly but enough for me to hear him. "What did I say?" I turn my body towards him slightly and notice him sigh.

"When you said you loved me Rea."

I looked down a bit and thought to myself. I don't want it to seem like I'm weak for showing too much of myself to him even though he knows every inch of me and seen every inch of me but I also don't want to hurt him at the same time.

I hesitated trying to think of a different topic to change the conversation but just ended up looking out the window and picking my fingernails. I frowned and kept quiet even though I felt Nathan's gaze clearly on me.

"It's okay if you didn't. It was in the moment and you were probably just thinking of it but accidentally said it out loud." I watched as Nathan pulled in front of my house but instead of getting out, I sat there in silence with him.

It was kind of awkward but I broke the silence by sighing which let me hear Nathan mumble quickly. "If you want a kiss goodbye, just say it idiot."

I smiled a bit and turned his way signaling that I do as he did the same.

He gently held my chin to bring my face close to his, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. We both backed away and I swear I felt my cheeks heat up a lot.

I probably look like a fucking tomato.

When I turned and opened the car door to get out, I heard Nathan gasp and grab my arm back slightly. "Oh wait! I have a little gift for you."

I giggle slightly and furrow my eyebrows at Nathan. "A gift for me? Why?" Nathan smirked and took out a small box which made me wonder if it was maybe earrings.

I adore pretty things that could make me look pretty.

"It's just a gift dummy." I watched as Nathan opened the box which showed me a beautiful butterfly necklace making me grin happily from ear to ear.

"You're lying! Are you serious?" I take out the necklace gently as Nathan laughs at my reaction. "It's so beautiful Nathan, thank you so much!"

I started to giggle nonstop and tried to put on my necklace but was too excited so I failed multiple times.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Calm down and let me help you psycho." I rose up my hair a bit as Nathan leaned over and clipped on the necklace for me easily. I glanced down at it and thought to myself.

Butterflies.

The charms on the necklace looked very beautiful, so beautiful in fact that when they hit light it sparkles. How gorgeous.

"What made you get butterflies for me?" I smiled and turned towards Nathan's direction again as he smiled and looked away shyly. "You know those pretty Lycaenidae butterflies?"

I thought to myself then shook my head no.

"Well they are pretty blue-like butterflies and they actually kind of remind me of you. You're delicate like them, beautiful like them, and so on and so on." Nathan rolls his eyes as he smiles and blushes a bit but looks away from me so I don't notice. I always notice though, which makes me a bit happy.

I felt myself blush too but took his hand into mine, interlocking it. "I don't want to go into my house right now, I want to stay with you even though I'm probably already going to get in trouble."

I started to admire Nathan's hand and arm going up which caused me to bite my lip slightly.

Veiny but not too veiny just the way I like it.

"We will see eachother tomorrow idiot." Nathan looks at me and smiles but I groan and look away out the window on my side annoyed.

He doesn't even know what I mean.

"I know but I don't want to just sit there in that dumbass school talking to you for a little then going to class. I want to actually touch you Nathan. Interlock my hand with yours, hug you as my head buries into your chest, feel my heart beat match up with yours as we lay together, and so much more. That's what I mean." I frowned and felt my eyes well up with tears when I realized I showed too much of my stupid feelings towards him.

Nathan suddenly held my cheek gently and made me look at him a little which made him see the tears welling up in my eyes that were now about fall.

"Hey hey hey, I'm sorry. Why are you about to cry?" I sniffed a little and covered my face as my hands shook slightly.

"No it isn't your fault, I'm just emotional..." I mumbled a little hoping Nathan could still hear me since I was covering my face but then I suddenly heard the car door open on Nathan's side from where he was sitting then close real quick which made me confused and removed my hands from my face.

I suddenly heard my side of the car door open and Nathan pulled me out of the car gently but hard enough to actually get my ass to stand up.

I looked up at his tall figure as he looked down and me and held my waist close to his embrace.

"You don't have to keep all those tears and all that anger to yourself Larrea. You can tell me how you feel, you know I'm always here and I would never yell at you or insult the way you feel even if it's something stupid." I looked down and shook my head no as I began to cry more.

"Nathan, no. You don't understand." I tried to leave his embrace but he kept his grip on me.

"Larrea, just talk to me please." I quickly made Nathan let go of me by slightly pushing him off hard enough so his grip could loosen and I could look up at him seriously.

"Nathan I said no! You wouldnt understand and you wouldnt understand me!" I hugged my stomach and looked down trying to hold back more tears.

I expected Nathan to ask what the hell was my problem but he instead just hugged me gently and kissed the top of my head. I hugged him back hesitantly but quickly gave in.

His touch always gets me weak, I swear.

"It's okay. Goodnight beautiful." Nathan stopped hugging me then walked over to the driver side of his car. He soon waved at me then drove off leaving me in front of my house.

I quickly took out my phone and checked the time.

6:30 pm.

My mother is going to fucking kill me.

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