Teach Me

Chapter 11

Rae's POV

I lay my baby girl down in her bed walk over and kiss Eli on the forehead before walking into the living room. My grandparents left yesterday to go to James' and Eli had to go over there today to see them so he passed out when he got home and Luna has been extra clingy lately. I lay down on the couch taking a deep breath feeling tense from the day.

I know it's bad to say but I think I need a break...

I need a break from the constant worrying and fear. I need a break from the stress. I just need a break but I won't get one. And to think just a few weeks ago I wanted another one. I thought it would be a great idea and now I want a break from the kids I do have.

I stare up at the ceiling taking in the complete silence.

"Are you okay?" I hear Demi's concerned voice break the silence.

She lifts my head sitting it on hers.

"I am tired and stressed. I am worried and scared." I tell her looking up at her tired face. "I feel like I shouldn't be tired or stressed because I don't have to do anything all day and you work all day and come home and still do so much."

"Babygirl, you do a lot." She tells me. "Your brain is constantly going and your body is constantly working to keep your blood sugar normal, and on top of that you are chasing a 2 and 4-year-old around while cleaning all day." She says. "I don't think I could do that all day every day."

"I just feel like I should be able to do so much more but every day I am drained when the kids finally pass out," I tell her.

"I know you do and as they get older you will be able to." She says. "Now what are you worried about?"

"That Luna isn't just going through a phase," I say. "I have been thinking that the clinginess was a phase but I feel like it's only getting worse. I talked to your mom today and she said every kid goes through a clingy phase but she is two this is when she is meant to be becoming more independent, more adventurous, and less clingy."

"Honey, she is just shy and wants to be with her Momma. She spends all day with you so it is natural for her to want to be where her safety net is. Eli is a boy and naturally adventurous, she is a girl who a slightly more cautious. She wants to know she is safe and she knows you signal safety." Demi says explaining to me. "Plus she has always had this bond with you. She loves you and she wants to be with you."

I take a deep breath and nod as she tells me the same thing I know and the same thing everyone keeps telling me.

"I love you and so do our kids. None of us would know what to do if you weren't here when we came home. If you weren't there to cuddle us when we were upset. If you weren't there to make sure we have everything we need and to worry about us even when we do." She says. "I definitely wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't lay in bed with you every night."

I slowly sit up and turn to face her. I pull her face to mine kissing her hard. She pulls me onto her lap so that I am straddling her as we kiss. Her hand explores my body one finding it way to my face and holding it in place as the other one finds it's way to my hips holding me there as if she thinks I will stop her. My hands rest in her shoulders to support me as she pulls me closer. She bites my lip as she pulls away.

"Should we head upstairs?" She asks in a whisper I can see the lust in her eyes and I quickly nod agreeing with her. She pulls me to the stairs turning off the lights as we go. She pulls me into the bedroom pushing me onto the bed making me let out a small squeal.

She crawls on top of me before putting a hand on either side of my head and just looking down at me.

"I love you." She says.