Like a Wave

Chapter 56: How am I supposed to go on

October 2013:

Three months later and one month after Brittney comes home:

Brittney was released four weeks ago, and she seems to be doing better. The doctor prescribed her some meds to help with her anxiety and depression. She seems to be stabilizing. 

I am so happy to see her smile at the kids; the day I picked her up, she thanked me for making her go. 

Virgil and Kristen came to visit her like four times. He thanked me for taking care of his grandchildren. He told me he could see that I was in love with Brittney; just give her some time before I tried to get her back. 

I told him Brittney was very special to me and would always be the love of my life. Right now, she needed a friend, and that is the only thing I was here for was to support her and our kids. I don't know if she will ever be ready to move on. If so, then great, and if not, then that's fine as well. I am not going anywhere. 

He smiled and shook my hand then he and his daughter left. I was dating Daisy, but she got really mad when I told her about Cody's accident. She didn't like the fact I was staying here afterward and didn't understand that was because of my kids and her kids. 

I was pretty sure I made it clear that Brittney would always be in my life and Brittney would always come first when we first started dating. She told me to fuck off and hung up. 

I still haven't left Brittney's. I want to make sure she is back on track and able to take care of herself and our kids. I am mainly just here to help her if she needs it, but she is doing things herself. I do cook and do the dishes just because when we were married, I didn't do enough.

We all sat down on the couch and watched a movie last night. I helped her carry the kids to their rooms. For a moment, I forgot we weren't married anymore. 

She smiled, kissed me on the cheek, and then went to her room. I stood there watching her. I love her so much that if we never got another chance, I would be okay as long as she was happy. Her happiness is all that matters. I hurt her when that happened, but hopefully, she can see how much I have changed since she left me.

It's almost time for Halloween, and I know Cody not being here will be felt by her and the kids; they always did family themes. I asked her the other night about it, and she said she wasn't sure what they were going to do this year. 

I want her to ask me about doing a theme with them, but I don't know if she will, and I don't want to invite myself into their family things. I walked to the room I was staying in and laid down.

She has flown down to Atlanta twice since she was released. She came back looking happier. I think she is finally understanding that Cody is gone, and she has to keep going. 

Brittney's POV:

Life is getting a little easier. I can breathe now without feeling so much weight in my chest. I was so mad when Jordan told me I was going to a mental hospital, but I didn't know how much better I would be. 

I am so thankful to him for making me go. When we were married, he would never force me to do anything. Now, he has stepped into the role of friend and my support system.

It has been a very long seven months since my husband was killed. I was able to discuss everything, my anger and frustration for him being gone. I was able to talk about losing our baby, which, in fact, wasn't a baby, but to me, it felt like I lost Cody all over again.

She helped me understand why I felt that way. My doctor went above and beyond to help me get through his loss. She told me the best thing I could do when I was ready was to move on and try to find love again.