Being Mrs Scuderi (On Hold)

chapter fourteen

Amelia's Pov
"Can we talk?"

"Yes what's up?" I ask shutting my laptop to give her my full attention. "I'm sorry about the kiss,"she says bringing up the dreaded subject. She's avoided me for a week plus and I was grateful for it. I already have enough going on at home.

"Can we not? I just-i can't,"

"I still have feelings for you. I thought the-"

"just stop! Do you have any fucking idea what your stupid kiss cost me? I gave you the benefit of the doubt when my wife told me not to and I might lose her because of it,"

"You did lead me on,"

"I was being a fucking good friend Bria, It's called caring!"

"part of you wanted me to make a move admit it!"

"Do even hear yourself Brianna? I'm a happily married, pregnant woman. Why would you even think I'd want to sabotage that?"I ask and she just stands there as if hearing something for the first time. "You're pregnant?"she asks and I realize what I just said. Well it's going to be out anyway sooner or later. "Yes Bria,"I say seeing a look of hurt in her eyes but she should have respected my boundaries. She wanted to be the one I do it with but we both clearly couldn't have lasted with the secrets I found out later. She walks out leaving me there to process her reaction.

This was a huge mistake, being partners because one of us is clearly still in the past. I go back to my work to distract myself from everything. I wonder what Fabiana is up to. She hasn't talked to me since the outburst and when she does it's two to three words. I barely see her because she's in the guest room now and prefers to not be disturbed but I guess it's only by me because Ariella is in and out of there as she pleases. Even I, am so ashamed and embarrassed that she called it and I was mad at her because I was busy defending a person that wanted to come between us. It's worse when my parents wanted her for me instead of her.

"Umm Amelia? Ophelia called to confirm your weekend trip and brunch in an hour,"Hailey says poking her head out. "Tell her it's still on ,"I say. I really need to be away for a while, maybe then she'll have time to not see my face and actually want to hear what I have to say. I wrap up everything at the office and tell Hailey to email me the rest. I was invited to talk at a university tomorrow because apparently I am quite the example of a successful lawyer and decided to take Ophelia with me so we could start the weekend trip early. She still can't get over the fact that we'll use my private jet instead of the normal business class.

"Hey Mrs,"

"Hey Miss,"I say returning the same energy. I place my bag on the empty seat before taking one myself.

"So how did it go?"

"How did what go?"

"Fabiana...the trip..."

"I haven't told her, she doesn't want to hear anything from me,"I say genuinely. I've been trying to put a word in whenever she's around and she just slips in her airpods while working. "I'll try talk to her tonight before the flight,"I say not wanting to focus on that. "Amay she'll come around, you're the most important thing to her and she's also human. Remember when Peter didn't want me to hang around my ex boyfriend from college and turns out he was right?"she asks reminding me of how she called crying saying that she's scared he was going to leave her.

"I do. He didn't talk to you for a week then you confronted him and made up,"I say remembering the layers of it. "I was so scared because we were married. He chose to go through life with me by his side and I made him feel like he was doing it alone despite me agreeing to. She's just hurt by the fact that you didn't listen to her when she really needed you to,"she says pausing so I can process what she just said.

"So what should I do Phy, I can't lose her over this,"

"And you won't. When you marry someone that means that they're your best friend. It's just you two against the world. You go home to them, you sleep next to them, you ask for they're opinion on things because they know you better than anyone else. You consult each other on things that involve feelings from both sides because you know what makes them angry,sad insecure, happy, confused, anxious...all those things. Just confront the situation, because I know part of you is using her not talking to you as an opportunity to avoid it,"she says making me realize that I am actually married and the fear is different.

Losing her would be more than losing a girlfriend. She's a person I've trusted with my happiness and my future. She's the person I've told everything about me and has chosen me over and over. God I love her.

"I need to fix this,"

"where are you going?"

"To fix my marriage,"I say grabbing my things. I leave a few notes because brunch was on me today. I can never get used to being followed around like I'm some big person. Well maybe I am but it's different. I find her seated on the terrace with a glass of orange juice on the table watching something on her iPad. When I get close I make out she's watching some old videos of the two of us. "I hated that bathroom in your house,"I say startling her Abit but she regains her composure offing the iPad. She's still quiet now analysing the sky. She's in her swim shorts so I take it she went for a swim earlier because they're already dry.

"Where's Ari?"

"Asleep,"she says getting up but I hold her hand stopping her. Her eyes move from where my hand is to my eyes. "Can we talk? please?" I ask and she hesitates but sits anyway. "I'm so sorry I hurt you without even realising it. I'm so stupid for thinking that because I'm in a different place that she was too. You're my wife and I made you feel less than. Please forgive me,I'm tired of losing sleep because of how empty our bed is. I miss you,"I say pleadingly failing my attempt at being put together but maybe it's the hormones. I feel her hands cup my face rubbing her thumbs on my cheeks to wipe off the tears.

"I would never leave you because you were stubborn, I like that about you,"she says confusing me with how calm and receiving she is.

"But I hurt you-you were mad at me,"

"Because you didn't listen, not because I love you any less,"she says.

"So you're not mad anymore?"

"Yes Carino. Brianna came to apologize,"

"She did?"I ask surprised and curious too.

"What did she say?"

"Enough to realize how selfish I've been when it's always been me,"she says pulling me up with her so she can wrap her hands around me.

"Are you smelling me?"

"I just missed being this close to you baby,"she says before I pull away to look up at her earning a kiss on my forehead then one on my deprived lips.

"I love you,"

"I love you too Amore Mio,"she says tighten the hug. "I may have a flight tonight and I won't be back till Sunday night,"I say as we walk in and she stops searching my eyes for something.

"When we're you going to tell me?"

"Baby I tried and you just keep shutting me down for the entire week so I figured maybe you'd be relieved that I was away for a while,"I say genuinely.

"Where is it?"

"In Barcelona. I'll have my security detail with me throughout,"

"I'm coming with you it-,"

"Baby, Ari needs one of us here and besides we both need this, I need this,"I say and she's still not convinced and I can't understand why. There's no danger anymore because whoever that woman was hasn't done anything since because she's behind bars. "Fine but I'll keep calling to check up on you,"she says finally before kissing my forehead and disappearing somewhere in the house. Why was she so threatened by this mysterious person who's out to kill me?