the archer | dick grayson

2| I'll protect you

"It only hurts this much right now, was what I was thinking the whole time"

Zatanna walks with me down the street. I couldn't be in the tower any longer. It's not that I don't want to celebrate Garth's birthday. It's all just too much.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Lara, I'm not stupid. You hate walks."

I let out a shaky breath. I haven't talked about Jon's death with anyone. I completely shut myself away from my father. And I'm terrified Sam blames me.

"Lara.."

I stop walking. My bottom lip starts quivering. My eyes start to water.

"He was a kid.. every night I see his face. The way his eyes were screaming fro help and I couldn't help him. I couldn't save him."

"It's not your fault."

"You know everyone keeps saying that but Emma killed him because of me. She wanted to hurt me."

"You didn't kill him."

"I basically did!"

"You didn't put that Kryptonite into his heart."

"I might as well have."

I walk back towards the tower as she follows me. Zatanna and I used to be thick as thieves. She used to be my rock. Same with Wally but I've pushed them both away.

"Are you sure you should even be going in there."

"It's Garth's birthday."

"Everyone knows you're hurting, Lara, but please don't push us away."

I walk in, punching in the code. We get on the elevator as I try to compose myself. I take a few deep breaths before the doors open. I put on my best fake smile.

"Zatanna is here!"

"Hey!"

Everyone gives her a welcome hug besides Dawn. They hate each other. Zatanna walks over to Wally, giving him a peck on the cheek.

I jump when Dick puts his hand on my waist. He looks at me worriedly.

"Lara, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Lying to him hurts the most. He knows I'm lying but he doesn't push me more about it. I've always told Dick about everything. Even the smallest things that he probably doesn't care about but listens anyway.

Losing Jon has turned me into someone I don't recognize. And I'm afraid what it's doing to me. I'm eternally screaming for help but no one can hear me.

"I actually have to go to the bathroom."

I give him a kiss on the cheek before heading down the hall. I walk to our room and head to the bathroom. I make sure to lock the door before sitting on the floor with my back to the wall.

I close my eyes, trying not to cry. I think of all the good memories Jon and I had. And suddenly I'm pulled into a memory.

"Punch me."

An eleven year old Jon stares at me blankly.

"What?"

"Come on, punch me." I say. "It won't hurt me."

"Promise?"

"Jon, I'm Amazonian and Kryptonian. You couldn't hurt me even if you wanted."