didn't know you were cold ('til you felt my fire) // JENLISA AU

Chapter 26

"Can I kiss you?"

Jennie hated to be honest about it, but she didn't remember their first kiss well. Not as well as she would like. Intoxicated, maybe more than she'd like to admit, late at night, the grief of their falling out only the very next day - all it resulted in for her to recall was fuzzy memories and regrets.

But this, moment right now, in Lisa's arms, the music slowly playing in loud soothing rumbles in the speakers just on the other side of the wall, swaying slight, in this dark room of wires and folding chairs and entertainment equipment felt like the absolutely perfect place for her to have this do-over.

"Please." She whispered as she leaned forward, still slightly nervous, feeling her lips brush against Lisa's and Lisa's hand on her shoulder squeeze just a little harder and Lisa pushing forward and-

"Hey!"

In an instant they both jumped apart from each other as if shocked by a live wire, Jennie's face burning as she looked over at the man in the door, a hotel worker or techie for the DJ. Some sort of adult in any case.

"You girls can't be in here." He scolded, frowning. "What are you even doing here?" He narrowed his eyes as he looked between them.

Lisa stuffed her hands in her pockets, scowling as Jennie cleared her throat, unable to make eye contact. She glanced to Lisa before laughing nervously, giving her best diplomatic smile.

"Sorry, we were just hiding from some boys who kept asking us to dance."

The man snorted, stepping in to go over to the large box of equipment he had come into the room for. "Hide in the lobby then, this place is off limits."

"Of course, sorry, terribly sorry." Jennie grabbed onto Lisa's wrist, giving her a slight tug as she pulled her to the door. "We didn't touch anything, we promise."

She led Lisa out of the room as the man muttered a purposefully audible "fucking kids" behind them, and walked them toward the doors that led to the foyer.

"Asshole." Lisa muttered with a chuckle as she let Jennie lead them through.

As they stepped out of the dance room and into the hotel lobby, bright golden lights and the music reduced to quiet muffled bass as the door shut behind them, it was as if the spell was broken. The moment came crashing down on Jennie, regret and guilt weighing her down.

What on earth was she thinking?

She was leaving.

She couldn't, she shouldn't, start this back up with Lisa, this whatever they had, this, this-

This wasn't fair to Lisa, to kiss her and give her hope and then leave her behind. This was selfish, so horribly selfish of Jennie. The actions of a spoiled, selfish girl who just kept using people to get whatever she wanted.

Spoiled rotten princess.

Ella's wrath be damned, she had to leave before she made this worse.

Without a word Jennie released Lisa's hand and kept walking forward, slowing after a couple of steps. She came to a stop, pausing, knowing she should say something and trying desperately to think about how to word it.

"Jen."

She paused and turned, to look back over at the girl standing behind her. Lisa was looking at her with concern, a bit of confusion, hands still in her pockets and head slightly tilted.

"What's wrong?"

Jennie swallowed down the emotion, felt it stick to her throat. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said, already feeling the first crack of emotion in her voice. "This was a bad idea."