A Broken Promise

Sentenced to therapy

"I don't want to. I don't see why you can't just leave me alone." I say agitated.

"Well you're obviously depressed. You never join the family, you always sulk around and you refused to take your medication. What else was I supposed to do?" My mother asks.

"Like I said, just leave me alone." I say walking back to my room.

She calls back," Your session starts at nine."

I huff loudly and slam my door hoping to get my point of disdain for therapy across. I flop on my bed staring at the ceiling, just wondering where it all went wrong. I was a happy kid. I used to actually like going to school and being around people, then everything just became too much.

My school work became to much, I started to get bullied, my mom always put so much responsibility on me. I hated every thing. I was over stressed, always sad then my best friend moved away and with her my anchor. I just didn't know what to do.

After months of coming home and crying for hours I finally decided to do something that would make me feel better. I took a pencil sharpener of mine and unscrewed the blade from it. That night I did the very thing I thought I could never do. My phone buzzes and disturbes my current thought. Its a text from my good friend Ryan.

"Down for ice cream??:)"

I respond . "Yeah. Meet you at Dairy Queen in 10:)"

I quickly throw on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater and head outside to my car. My mom stops me before I reach the door.

"Where in the world are you going this late at night?"

"Mom it's not even late and I'm just going to get ice cream with Ryan. Nothing more nothing less." I say reaching for the door knob.

"Okay just don't do anything sexual. And please stay safe. Come back quickly its late." She says concerned.

"Mom he's gay. He doesn't like women like that. And yeah I'm going to die of to much ice cream consumption." I roll my eyes,"I'm going now." I say walking out of the door to my car.

I take the fastest route to the nearest DQ. When I get there I already see Ryan sitting at a table with 2 ice creams. My favorite cookie dough and his favorite snickers. I take a spoonful and sigh in contentment as I sit.

"So why ice cream at 11:30?" I laugh.

"I just thought you'd like something sweet and creamy in your life. Plus the other day you said you were craving ice cream." He say taking a huge spoonful.

"I did, didn't I? Well anyways thank you I needed to get out of the house. My mom and I arn't on good terms right now."

Ryan chuckles," when are you and your mom ever on good terms?"

"Never." I scoff. We eat in silence for about 3 minutes until I speak up. "I..uhh...have a therapy session tomorrow."

Ryan almost chokes on a snickers chunk,"WHAT?? I thought you hated therapy?"

"I do hate therapy but my mom is making me go. I know I'm 18 almost 19 but I'm just going to try, for her sake. And maybe she'll actually be happy with me for once."
I say downing another spoonful of sugary goodness.

"Are you still going to try and move out? Do you think your mom would let you?" Ryan says.

"I don't see why not." I say finishing my ice cream.

"Well you're in therapy now. Don't you think she'll want to keep a close eye on you?"

"I didn't even think about that. Being the crazy woman she is, she's probably going to make me sit in the living room and sleep with my door open." I rest my head on the table and try to figure out how I'm going to move out.

"Damn I feel bad for you", he says eating his last bit of ice cream. "And I feel bad for me, I'm out of food!"

I laugh," You and your food. Thanks for this I needed a little pick-me-up."

"Nobody can be upset for long when they're eating Dairy Queen. Plus I'm here! How can you be unhappy if I'm in your presence! Just kidding." He giggles.

I smile,"You're insane but there is some truth in what you just said." I get up and stretch. Ryan comes around the table and wraps his arms behind my neck. I curl my arms around his waist and bury my head in his chest. We stand like this for a little until Ryan speaks up.

"Feel better,okay?" He rubs my back before he brakes away and walks to his car. "and take care of your self, please." He closes his door and speeds off.

"I'll try." I say to no one in particular as I make my way to my car. I take the long way home and drive in silence. Taking long stops at deserted red lights and driving well under the speed limit. Looking at the street lights pass by until I arrive home only to be greeted by my mother.

"Where in the hell were you? Its almost one am!" My mom yells flailing her arms.

"I told you I went to get ice cream with ryan and I decided to take a leisurely drive home. That's all." I walk past her to the stairs trying to control my temper.

"You could have called."

"Why? I'm almost 19. I can do what I want and stay out as late as I want, I'm up all night anyways." I say clenching my fists.

"Why can't you just stay here? Why can't you just be happy instead of angry all the time?"

"Because mom! Anger is a symptom of depression I thought you'd know that. And its not as easy as just saying I'm happy. There is no point if I don't feel happy! And I don't want to stay in this hell hole because I only ever get judged! No one fucking understands what I feel and no one gives a damn! You only care because it was getting in the way of your happiness!" I say stomping up the stairs and slamming my door. I get in my pajamas and sit at my desk beside the window I decide to text ryan.

"Hay..."

He texts back. "Hay what's up?"

"Nothing much. My mom just yelled at me for coming home late and I just wanted to ask you a question."

"Ask away" I love that he texts back fast.

"Can you help me move out in the next few days or do you know anyone who can?"

"Yeah I'd be glad to help what day do you want to move out?"

"The sooner the better either tomorrow or the next day." I'm still hungry.

"Well its the weekend I'll help you both days. Do you already have a place?"

"Yeah I do and thank you so much."

"Its no problem and good. I'll show up at your house around 1 okay?"

"Okay I'll be waiting."

"Well I'm tired so goodnight sleep tight:)."

I smile. I'm glad to have a friend like him. "Night:)"

I get up and slowly poke my head out of my room. My moms door is shut and I think she's asleep. Thank goodness. I creep down the stairs to the kitchen to find something to eat.

I lighly hum a song while I make myself a sandwich. I grab a soda and head back to my room but I'm stopped short when I hear my mom on the phone.

"I don't know mother she's always angry and pushing me away." Great she's talking to my grandma. "I know she'll be going to therapy but what if it doesn't help?" Here she goes again telling everybody my business. "Okay but she came home at one tonig- yes I know she's an adult but she could've been considerate and called." I walk away before I could get anymore annoyed than I already was.

I close my door and listen to music full blast while I eat my sandwich. Having My Chemical Romance blasted in your ears can't be be good for your hearing, probably going to go deaf by the time I'm 27. I slightly head bang along in between bites. When I'm done I grab my drawing book and start doodling. I usually draw for quite a long time it makes me feel better. Song lyrics, flowers, tattoo designs. There was one of a Phoenix with the words "I may crash and burn but I will rise again stronger than before" that I really liked. I glanced at the clock that read 5:45. I rested my head on my desk and continued doodling until I fell asleep.