A Broken Promise

Moving day

I start crying as I drive my way to my friend Ryan's house. He always knows what how to make me feel better. It only takes me about 15 minutes to get to his house and when I do I knock on the door and I'm greeted my his mother.

"Oh Skylar hi. Are you here to see ryan?" I nod and wipe my eyes. "Okay he's upstairs sweetie."

I love his mom she's always so nice and she accepts me. I walk up the stairs to ryan's bedroom and gently knock on the door. I hear a groan and some shuffling before he opens the door.

"Sky what-what are you doing here its not even 11 yet?" He asks rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"I had therapy remember?"

"Thats right. So what happened I can tell you've been crying?" He pulls me into his room and shuts his door. I sit down on the edge of the bed as he hands me some tissues.

"Thanks." I wipe my eyes and look at him concern clear on his face. "It was my mom. Again." He sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap so my head is resting on his shoulder and his arm around my back. I always feel safe and comforted when like this.

"What she say this time?"

Feeling the slow circles being rubbed into my back I relax a little,"She called me an embarrassment and told me I was pathetic. She spat the word at me like venom ment to kill. I don't understand Ryan I do everything for her. I'm always trying to please her. Doing extra chores, taking care of my little brothers, basically being a mother but she just ignores me and when she does pay attention to me it's negative attention. I just want her to love me." I started crying again and this time I was shaking with rage and sadness." Why doesn't she love me? What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong. This is all on her. Its her fault she doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be. It's her fault she doesn't see what a wonderful person you are. Sky it's not your fault."

"I just want her to love me..." I'm not crying anymore but I feel empty. I sit in silence on Ryan's lap for a long while, thinking of something else to say, but nothing. I'm too sad and too empty to put my two sense in. I just want all my problems to disappear but unfortunately this is real life and not a fantasy world.

Slowly I get up and take a deep breath," How long will it take you to get ready?"

"Not that long why?" Ryan asks quickly standing up.

"I'm ready to get the fuck outta my house." I say staring blankly ahead.

+ + +
Ryan and I stopped by uhaul and got a moving truck before arriving at my moms house.

I unlock the door and signal for Ryan to follow. Without saying a word I walk up the stairs before I'm stopped in my tracks by the sound of my mother's voice.

"So you're just gonna come in and not say a word to me? Not even going to apologize for making me take a taxi to get home?"

Slowly I walk back down the stairs and stop in front of my mother and say with the most venomous tone I can muster,"I'm moving out and I'm never coming back. So you never have to worry about me inconveniencing you ever again." I flash a fake smile and make my way back upstairs before my mom can reply.

I throw open my bedroom door and begin lifting boxes. "Ryan, can you get the boxes over there by my computer. They'll need to go in first."

"Yeah no problem." He gets straight to work.

We don't even get half way to the door before my mother comes in screaming and flailing about." What do you mean you're moving out? You can't! You can't just leave me here with your brothers and the house!"

Coldly, without even looking at her I reply,"I can and I'm going to. It's time for you to grow up and be an adult. Time for you to stop relying on me to be an adult so you could continuously live out your teenage years." I bring the boxes down to the truck and start again. I repeat this action along with Ryan until the truck is mostly full. Just a few small things and I'm completely moved out. I can finally start healing. I'm finally free of my shackles, out of my prison cell and awaiting the outside world. I can finally do what I want.

Once more I take the trip up to my room to collect a few small things.

Opening the door I'm greeted by my mother. Her face is streaked with tears and her eyes are puffy. Something inside me breaks and I break down crying. Horrible choking sobs and run to hug her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No matter if I'm gone I still love you."

She hugs me back and through tears says," You'll always be my daughter. And I'll always love you."

We break apart and I give her a heart felt smile and collect the rest of my things to bring them down to the truck. Once down stairs and outside I give my mother one last hug and climb into the cab of the truck. I steal one last look at her and with Ryan in the passenger I make my way to my new home.

Driving the streets with music blasting, Ryan and I make some goofy conversation.

"You're such a fucking dork." I giggle.

"Says the one who had a movie style goodbye, crying hug and all." Ryan laughs.

I lightly punch him in the arm," It's my mom!" We both burst into a fit of laughter.

We're stopped at a red light and I slowly sigh," You know, despite the shit my mom has put me through I really do love her. And somehow I'm sad to go."

Ryan looks over at me and smiles," I know you do, and I can tell that you are. But you deserve better. You deserve to heal."

I nod and focus back on the road in time to see the light change to green. We spend the rest of the drive with only the sound of All Time Low playing through the truck, and I'm lost in my thoughts as usual. Thinking about my mom, living on my own, therapy, all the messed up confusing shit in my life. So caught up in fact I miss my turn.

"Son-of-a-Bitch." I say as I make an illegal u-turn.

"Remind me to never get in a moving truck with you. Ever again." Ryan exclaims with fear in his eyes.

"Oh calm down ya big baby. We're here." I park and get out of the truck and being moving my stuff inside which is quite the feat cuz I live upstairs.

"Hey just grab something small I want to show you around first." I say to Ryan as I excitedly dash upstairs. "Okay, okay. You ready?"

"You know it's not my house you dork." Ryan says with a chuckle.

I lightly punch his shoulder," Just be happy for fuck sake." I unlock the front door and step inside my new home. My eyes widen and take in the room. The nicely sized kitchen to my left with perfect counter space for just one person. A nice stainless steel fridge and wonderful lighting. And just in front of the small entry way a spacious living room. A sliding glass door onto a patio and enough space for a couch, table and TV. To the right of the entry way down a short hallway the bedroom and a small hall closet with a washer and dryer. This is my home. It's all mine.

I turn to Ryan with a grin that spans from ear to ear and squeal," Okay let's get my shit in here so I can enjoy living alone."

We spend the rest of the day moving all my stuff in and putting stuff together and slightly unpacking. So when 10pm rolls around I thank Ryan for his help and tell him he can come over any time he wants. He smiles and promises he'll show up before hugging me and saying his goodbyes, leaving me to own thoughts and feelings.

And I have lots of those. I sit on the couch soaking up the feeling of independence and being free from my mother that I smile so big my cheeks hurt. Then the exhaustion of the day pushes me to pass out right there on the couch.