Bringing the Light

18. The Boy With A New Name

Angela and I were due to go back to LA in a couple of days. I'd stayed in Ohio for a week, going through things with Mom, helping set things up for her now that she had to take over all the household expenses. Dad's insurance and investments, along with other benefits she was entitled to made it look like they'd be able to keep the house. The thought of them having to move soon after we buried Dad worried me. But Dad had been smart and had invested in ways that left Mom well off enough that the household expenses would be covered and she'd still have some money left for living. Mom said she'd probably go back to work since Erin and Toby weren't babies and they wouldn't be fostering anymore.

The day before we were due to fly out, I asked Mom if I could talk with her in private. We went into Dad's office.

"You better not be about to tell me that you're planning on dropping out of college, coming home and working some job to supporting us. Dad left us okay," she said. "And if that is what you want to tell me, I'm going to pull the 'your dad wouldn't want that' card."

I smiled. She would.

"No. I'm not planning on dropping out of college. But now that you've given me that idea..." I pretended to think about that.

"Stop that!" She laughed. "What's up sweetheart? What's on your mind?"

I took a deep breath.

"Okay. This might sound weird, but hear me out. I really want and need your advice on this, and your approval."

"If it's about Angela, I'm going to tell you you're too young to get married," she said.

I frowned at her.

"Mom!" I said. "Can I finish?"

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just tired of being sad all the time," she said.

"So, this might sound weird. But, remember when you adopted me..."

"No. When was that again?" She winked at me. I frowned back. "Sorry, sorry. Go on."

"Remember I said I didn't want to take your last name because I kinda like mine?"

"I do. Why? Have you changed your mind?"

"Kind of. But it's going to sound really weird, because it's not really a typical thing."

"I'm intrigued. Go ahead."

I took a really deep breath, let it out and looked straight at Mom.

"I want to change my first name to David. Legally."

Mom gaped at me.

"Why?" She asked.

"Forget it. It's stupid," I said. I thought I'd insulted her.

"No. It's not. I'm just curious as to why. You must have a reason. You know your father would never let you get away with not having a reason for something. Same goes for me. Why?"

"Well, because the only real parents I ever had in my entire life were you and Dad. And I still like my last name. Stephen is the name my birth mother gave me and it isn't exactly someone I want to associate myself with. She never loved me. I tried for years to get her to love me but it's obvious she never did.

Dad is who made me who I am today. He's the one who turned me from that angry, kinda assholeish kid into someone who might actually be successful. And you did too. Don't think I'm giving Dad all the credit.

Dad got me back into baseball. Dad made me think before I acted or answered. Dad helped me decide on my major in college.

And I think Amanda might be a weird name for a guy.

I want to honour Dad every day. And I want to disassociate from Cassidy. You know Freud wasn't even her last name? She actually gave me that last name."

Mom had tears in her eyes. But she also had a smile on her face.

"That's beautiful," she said. "David. It suits you. I approve. But it's your responsibility to do all the work to change it. I'll help where I can, but you know the rules. Your idea, your job."

I smiled. I'd already started the paperwork hoping she'd be okay with it.

"Do you think Toby and Erin might have a problem with it?"

"No," a voice outside the office said. I turned around and hiding in the doorway, the door cracked open just a bit, we're my siblings.

"You brats!" I said, getting up and chasing them into the living room. I put Toby in a loose headlock and gave him a noogie.

"David! Stop!" He laughed. I did.

"You called me David," I said, looking at him.

"Yeah. I like it. Like Mom said, it suits you. And I think if he'd had the chance or you were born into our family, you'd have been David Jr."

"You would," I said, sitting back on the floor, my back against the sofa.

"Maybe. And I'm not implying that Dad loved you more. He loved us all. I don't feel like you took anything away from me and Erin. Dad just added love to the family when they adopted you. But I think even before the adoption was finalized, Dad already considered you his son."

I smiled. I'd never felt like the "bonus kid". Once the fear of aging out of foster care was gone, I felt like what I'd guess any other kid felt like. I had a mom and a dad. I got grounded when I screwed up. I had siblings that, while we get along, we had the occasional squabble. Just like any siblings. We fought over the TV, the last cookie, whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher or take out the trash.

"Honestly, you look like a David. Not a Stephen," Erin said.

I smiled up at her.

Mom came into the living room and sat on the couch beside Erin, pulling her into a hug.

"Dad and I must have done something right to have three of the most amazing kids in the world," she said. "The best things we ever did was have you," she hugged Erin.

"And you," she ruffled Toby's hair.

"And adopt you," she said, ruffling mine.

I sat, smiling with my family. My family.