Written in the Stars (W.I.P.)

Chapter 8 (Rhys)

I had texted Dean all night.
First, it was all just 'I'm sorry.'
And then it was 'I shouldn't have done that.'
I wasn't thinking straight when I kissed him at the boat, or at the swings, when I touched him and I felt something.
I realized then, that he hadn't felt anything.
I shouldn't have been angry at Dean, but for some reason I was.
It was selfish.
It was stupid.
But I was selfish and I stupid, so maybe it really wasn't all out of character for me.
I didn't text him again, instead, I deleted the number.
For his sake, not for mine.
I walked to school that morning, but I went outside in the back of the school to read on a bench during first hour, and then second hour, and then third, and fourth, and fifth, and sixth.
I skipped every class I could possibly skip, and I read every book in the library during, and every drama post about everyone and anyone in the school.
Including me and Dean.

When school ended, I didn't go home, and I didn't text my mom or my dad.
I walked all the way from the high school to the park and I swung on the swings for hours, and I went to the concession stand and bought two bottles of bourbon.
I drank the whole thing of both, and then I threw up, all of it.
I went back to the park and I sat at the picnic tables and watched the sunset with 'World For Two' by King Calaway playing on my phone on the table.
I stayed up after dark, and then I slept on a bench at the park alone without a blanket.
Because I wanted to.
Because I was sad and angry and sick and terrified all at the same time.
Because I was in love, and I was tired of trying so hard all the time.
I did it all... because I felt like it, and I never got to do anything just because 'I felt like it.'
I thought it was time for all of that to change, and time for me to do whatever I want, just for a few days, or maybe a week.