Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer

Part 79

79

"You should wear this." I dropped the red dress in her lap. I sat behind her to help fasten her bra, trying not to think about how well the colour matched the dress. I had a serious craving for strawberries.

Her hair was still wet from the shower. Caitlin sprayed something on her damp tresses as she brushed them. More strawberries, I realised as the scent of her conditioner spray hit my nose. "What for?" she asked.

"I'm going to take you out for lunch, then maybe we can see a movie, or you can buy some more clothes to replace what was damaged. Afterwards we can have dinner somewhere. After that, I'll take you home, if you like. Or, if you'd prefer, I can take you back to my house for a bit." I raised my eyebrows.

"I would like to see your house," she said, thankfully.

"Okay, so get dressed so we can go have lunch." I left the room, but stayed by the door. She still had trouble with zips and buttons and if I wasn't there to offer a hand, I'd come back to find her half-dressed and in tears, her hands in the freezer, looking for ice to dull the pain. She never asked for help. I'd have to offer, or see her hurting.

"Nathan, could I ask you a favour?" Her words were quiet and precise.

"Sure," I answered. She didn't ask for many favours.

"Tonight, I'd like you to get me drunk in a pub or a nightclub, please."

I was glad she couldn't see my face. I didn't know whether to be horrified or happy. My heart flew. She's going to do this so she can find the courage she thinks she doesn't have. She wants me to get her drunk so she'll sleep with me.

Before it fell. That's taking advantage of her.

No it isn't. She's a responsible adult – she's making the choice.

And was twisted like a crushed aluminium can. She's not a responsible adult – the pain and the pain drugs mess with her head. If I take advantage of her when she's drunk, I'll never forgive myself and she might not, either.

She might not even do it – she might just want to get drunk, pass out and nothing will happen.

"Why do you want to get drunk?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder at her, but she didn't need my help yet.

This time she hesitated and sounded uncertain. "Because...I turned eighteen while I was still in hospital. I've never been drunk in a pub...and I want to. I know that you'll make sure I get to bed afterwards." Big, trusting eyes looked up at me.

If only you trusted me enough to let me do what I'd like to with you. Nothing scary, nothing strange, nothing I'd have hesitated to ask any other girl I wanted. Until you. If only you'd let me…

"Okay. I'll take you to a pub tonight and buy you some belated birthday drinks," I told her.

And anything else you want, angel – all you have to do is ask. And if you don't…

I'll be the perfect fucking gentleman, as always, I resolved grimly.