TWD Oneshots 🧟‍♀️

Not Thin Enough💜

tw this includes eating disorders; bulimia; slight suicide mention

Carl Pov:

It was time for dinner again... I was dreading it. I haven't eaten a meal without throwing up in so long.. I can't even remember

"Coral!" My dad called from downstairs. Slowly I walked out of my room and down the stairs.

The only meal I eat is dinner and I eat as little as possible. I feel like my dad gets suspicious but.. I can't eat I don't feel thin enough.

As I walked down the stairs I felt like I was about to fall. So I started walking a little slower and finally got to the table. In front of me was salad, sandwiches and soup.

I only grabbed a sandwich and about a handful of salad. Slowly I took small bites of my sandwich and picked at the salad. I ate about half of the sandwich and all of the salad.

It's not like I can lie.. eating feels good. When you're really hungry, but after you just feel overwhelming amounts of guilt. I can't do it..

"I'm gonna head back to my room." I say to my dad and michonne. I hope they don't hear me.

Gripping the railing on the stairs hard, I walk up and make my way to the bathroom. I shut and lock the door, then get on my knees over the toilet.

I sigh. Lift up the toilet seat and stare for a few seconds. I took a deep breath. Took my pointer and middle finger and stuck it down my throat. It made me gag loudly.

I did it again, threw up. Again, threw up. I threw up until I couldn't anymore. I got up and flushed the toilet. I stared into the mirror and brushed my teeth. My cheeks were swollen and my eyes were pricked with tears.

I feel so awful. I shouldn't be doing this. Food is already hard to come by and here I am fucking wasting it.. I'm horrible. I deserve to die.

"I don't wanna do this anymore.." I whispered to myself. My voice hoarse, and my throat stung.

I opened the door to.. my dad.

Rick Pov:

Michonne and I were still eating after Carl was done. The kid barely touched his plate anymore. I don't know what's up with him. I'll go talk to him after dinner.

Not only five minutes later did I hear coughing from the bathroom. Jesus.. I hope the food didn't make him sick.

"I'll go check it out michonne." I said and got up from the table.

I swiftly walked up the stairs to the bathroom. I listened closer for a minute. Quiet sobs and more coughing. And.. splashing?

"Carl?" I said firmly. No reply.

Another five minutes later he opens the door.

"Dad-" He said looking pretty shocked.

"Carl what happened?"

"Oh uh nothing my stomach just started to hurt and I didn't feel that good.." He replied.

He looked like shit honestly.. Cheeks were swollen and red, his eyes looked sore from crying.

I pulled him into a hug and.. oh my god. He's skin and bones.

"Carl.. No.." I whispered. I felt him hug me back tighter.

Is this why he struggles fighting walkers now? Every time we run into them he seems so much more tired than he ever was.

"Dad I just feel so bad." He cried out.

"I'm s-sorry I've been throwing up m-my food I know I shouldn't w-waste it I'm so sorry." He sobbed into my shoulder.

Tears pricked at my eyes and starting dripping down my face.