Diligence [H.S.]

PROLOGUE III

Chapter Song: Bigger Than The
Whole Sky by Taylor Swift

...

HARRY STYLES

July 2020

The hotel suite door slams behind me as I walk into the vacant hallway, and I immediately bring my hands to rub my eyes, attempting to maintain my frustration and anger.

God, she can be so fucking stubborn sometimes.

I start walking toward the elevator, not knowing where I plan on going but knowing I need a moment to step away. I don't care that it's late. I just need to let what's happened today settle in my mind, and if that means taking some space and walking around aimlessly, so be it.

Nate will probably be there to drag me back into the hotel by my ear once I get a block away, but I don't care.

My mind replays the entire time, over and over, as I take the elevator down to the first floor and leave through one of the back exits.

The sounds of the cars driving on the road next to me, the constant honking in the distance, and the never-ending chatter of people along the sidewalk are therapeutic as I start walking with no specific destination.

This was meant to be a relaxing day. A day for us to enjoy each other's company before the upcoming shows at Madison Square Garden and before her birthday.

She flew in last night, and things seemed...okay. She wasn't herself, but she landed pretty late at night, and it had been a stressful day since she had flown on a plane for the first time. The familiarity returned once it was just us when we arrived at the hotel, and my stress was relieved.

This morning didn't necessarily start on a better note, but it got better as time passed. She was slightly jet-lagged when she woke up and a bit distant, but after she got ready, she was energetic and genuinely excited about what I had planned for us. She was affectionate, her usual self, and it was as if everything was back to normal, to our life before the tour. It felt like I was home again, and we had begun the routine we created months ago.

We started our first day together in months so perfectly, and we ended it by going to a romantic dinner, just the two of us.

How the fuck did we end up here?

Throughout the day, I watched her mood change and waver in front of me.

This morning, right when we woke up, she wasn't herself. I felt like I woke up next to a stranger, and it fucking killed me. She barely responded to my touch, and when she did, it seemed forced, like she did it out of obligation. Even when I picked her up from the airport, she was half asleep, but she was herself. She's always craved affection when she's tired, and it's something I've fallen deeply in love with. She was tired this morning, but it felt like she was playing a part.

She got out of bed to shower and get ready, and my ego was slightly bruised when she turned down my attempt to join her. I wasn't upset that she wanted to shower alone, but I missed her. I really fucking missed her, so I can't deny the disappointment in being given the chance to stay close to her after waking up. Even later, I came in to shower while she dried her hair, and she seemed so...hostile. She was on edge and nervous, especially when I stopped to kiss her before I walked back into the room to get dressed.

Then she finished getting ready and walked out to meet me in the suite's living room, and she was her usual, familiar self.

The sudden shift would have given me whiplash if I weren't so grateful and needy for her presence and affection.